The Island
by MeB XanWill4Ever
Summary: Who will be the Ultimate Survivor?
1. Squid Delight

The first part of Survivor was written by Mark W, a friend. He has given me permission to post this chapter so that I may post my part of the story.  
  
Disclaimer: All Joss and associates; Mark Burnett and Associates - I gain absolutely nothing from this but satisfaction. Do not own Survivor or Jeff Probst either.  
  
Spoiler: Some AU. Had to do it to make it fit. Thanks to MeB XanWill4Ever for his input. It's obvious where this story comes from, but I am going to use reader participation to move the bit along.  
  
____________________________  
  
SURVIVE (Epilogue)  
  
"Jeff, I gave you this job, knowing your little secret. That's more of a chance than most people would give you."  
  
"Mark, I just want you to give it a chance. There's a whole other demographic out there."  
  
"What do you know about demographics? All you had before this was Rock & Roll whatsit..."  
  
"Don't remind me. Please just hear me out."  
  
"I'll listen, that's all I can promise."  
  
"I always wondered when I was growing up why there weren't any shows about people like me. Well, I have met this girl wh-"  
  
"This is about a girl?"  
  
"I met a girl who is half-demon. But you wouldn't know it by looking at her. But she knew right away that I was like her. We got to talking and at one time she wanted to be an actress-"  
  
"Is this going somewhere?"  
  
"She had a chance to lead the life she should have had, with her own series and everything, but she gave it up and chose to become part demon to fight for good."  
  
"And?"  
  
"Come on, Mark, don't you see? There are two major demon television networks that are just airing dumb shows like Twilight Zone and stuff. Neither of them have any programming that shows us like we really are, in everyday life. I think we should take one of your shows and do a demon version."  
  
"Maybe. Eco-Challenge? Combat Mission?"  
  
"Um, no. What good would that do me? I'm talking Survivor. I can host. It'd be great."  
  
"I don't know, Jeff."  
  
"How could it go wrong?"  
  
"What kind of contestants would we use?"  
  
"Demons, witches, vampires-"  
  
"Vampires? On a sunny beach?"  
  
"I have access to a spell that blocks the part of the sunlight that is harmful to vamps. It is only good for short periods of time and in fixed places. It requires the approval of a higher power, but I think that with our intentions to provide wholesome entertainment for a supernatural audience, that shouldn't be a problem."  
  
"I'll tell you what, if you can get this spell to work, I'll give this whole crazy idea the green light."  
  
"Thank you! You won't regret this."  
  
"I hope not."  
  
  
  
************************************************  
  
  
  
"Well?"  
  
"I, um, I think it would have to be discussed with the others, but I would imagine that a month on a sunny beach would be nice."  
  
"Hello, Giles! I have the feeling you've never seen the show."  
  
"Well, to tell you the truth-"  
  
"Forget it. I'll try Buffy again. Bye, Giles."  
  
"Yes, well, goodbye Cordelia."  
  
  
  
*************************************************  
  
  
  
"You met Jeff Probst? He's so cute."  
  
"Buffy, did you hear anything I just said?"  
  
"Sure. You met Jeff Probst, oddly enough he turns out to be part demon, he proposes a supernatural version of his show, and now you want me to commit to being stuck on an island with not only my friends, but with all the people that I'd rather not remember knowing?"  
  
"Well, yeah. We found your friend Riley and he said he could use the vacation. And we have-"  
  
"Riley's going to play?"  
  
"He said he would."  
  
"I'm in."  
  
"Wow. Ok, then I figure it's safe to include the rest of you entourage."  
  
"Probably. Assume so, and I'll let you know if any of them back out."  
  
"Cool. Well, Mr. Burnett's office will contact you and make the arrangements to get you to the island."  
  
"Cord? Who else have you got?"  
  
"I think you'd rather be surprised. Oops, gotta go. See you there!"  
  
"Cordy? Cordelia, wait, don't hang-"  
  
The hum of the empty line concluded her old "friend's" end of the conversation.  
  
"Well, I guess I better break the news."  
  
*************************************************  
  
  
  
PART ONE  
  
Six Weeks Later...  
  
"I wonder what their camp is like," Willow wondered out loud to Buffy.  
  
Buffy, sitting on the ground, was looking at Angel. "He looks like a kid in a candy store out there.  
  
Willow followed Buffy's gaze to where Angel was splashing around in ocean, shirtless. "I never realized what a body he had."  
  
Buffy turned back to Willow. "He's not exactly your type."  
  
Willow giggled. "I know, I know. But I can still appreciate the form." She sighed. "I wish Tara was on our side."  
  
"Do you think you guys are going to get back together?"  
  
"No. I don't think there's any chance. But I just like watching her, you know?"  
  
Buffy started watching Riley Finn, who was deep in conversation with Angel's friend, Fred. "Winifred is pretty. Watch her...oh, that didn't sound right."  
  
"I know what you mean, it's ok. Do you think Riley and Angel are ever going to talk to each other?"  
  
Up until now, thee had been no communication between the two men, both former loves of the slayer.  
  
"I don't know. Riley and Fred seem to really get along and she's pretty close to Angel, so who knows? Did she tell you about that other universe? The one she was stuck in?"  
  
"Boy, did she. She told me and told me and told me and told me."  
  
Buffy laughed. "She's sweet, but, yeah, she can talk."  
  
Willow looked over into the overgrowth where Wesley sat by himself. She then turned to look at Anya sitting by the fire. "What about those two? How long can they sit and mope?"  
  
"Again, who knows? From what Cordelia told me, Wes is in love with Fred, who is in love with the other guy in the agency."  
  
"Gunn. I got to meet him at the airport. Too bad he couldn't come along."  
  
"Angel said someone had to run the agency."  
  
"But what's up with Anya?"  
  
"She misses Xander?"  
  
"Could be, but it's not like she doesn't have other friends."  
  
"I know. I just hope they realize that we have to all be a part of this team if we want to win these challenges."  
  
"Speaking of challenges, it's time to check the 'mail.'"  
  
"I'm going to hunt up some dinner. You go on ahead."  
  
"I'm going to ask Wes to come with me."  
  
"Yeah. You're sweet, you know that?"  
  
"So I hear."  
  
The two friends got up and went their own way. While Buffy headed into the trees, Willow went over to Wesley.  
  
"So, Mister Pryce, wanna take a walk?"  
  
The Englishman sighed. "I suppose." He stood up and stretched.  
  
"You really like her, huh?"  
  
"Is it that obvious?"  
  
"Pretty much."  
  
"Then why didn't she see it?"  
  
Willow put her arm through Wesley's. "Love. A strange thing. I wish it was easy, but it's not."  
  
"It sounds like you've been a little unlucky in love yourself."  
  
"It's a long story. You've heard some of it, but I might as well fill you in. Come on, let's talk and walk."  
  
  
  
*****************************************************  
  
Meanwhile, in the other camp...  
  
"Bloody hell! What's your problem, little man?"  
  
Jonathan took two steps back and lifted his crucifix a little higher. "Get away demon!"  
  
Spike laughed. "If I could munch on you, I probably would, but for now, you git, you're perfectly safe. Let me enjoy this sunlight. If you feel you must worry, do it at night." The vamp brushed past Jonathan and continued on his way to the water to play, just as his fellow vampire was doing on the other side of the island.  
  
Jonathan turned around and almost knocked Cordelia down.  
  
"Oh, yeah, now I remember you," Cordelia seethed.  
  
"I'm really, really sorry." He wondered, for the millionth time, why he had agreed to this horrible game. Then he remembered the money.  
  
"Oh, it's alright. I'm not a bitch anymore. Well, maybe a little, but I'm not going to bite your head off."  
  
"Thank you. Thank you. Are you sure it's safe here with...with them?"  
  
Cordelia studied Dru studying Spike. "Pretty sure," she said as she turned and walked away from the young man, who she really didn't remember at all.  
  
Giles looked up as Cordelia approached him. "Cordelia. I really like your new look. It becomes you. You look smashing."  
  
Cordelia smiled at the older man. She remembered that he always was a sweetheart, even when she wasn't. "I just hope you can say that a month from now."  
  
"Oh, I'm sure you'll still be here."  
  
She looked puzzled for just a split second. "Oh! I didn't mean I thought I would be kicked off, I mean that I couldn't bring my shampoos and soap with me, so I will probably look a little scuzzy by the time we're done."  
  
Giles answered without thinking. "Vogue says that mud can be a natural exfoliate if you are sure to thoroughly remove all traces of it after use."  
  
Cordelia laughed out loud. "You read Vogue?"  
  
"I read all of the periodicals. You never know what can be learned. You and I may be the only two clean people on this island thanks to my reading it."  
  
"That's true. As much as I am enjoying our conversation, I need to change the subject. Look at Druscilla."  
  
Giles turned his attention to the sexy vampire. He noticed her line of site was aimed at Xander, then Tara, then back top Xander. "Yes. I see what you mean. It's seems as though...as though she is inventorying a buffet."  
  
"That's what I thought."  
  
"Yes, well, we shall just have to keep a close watch on her."  
  
"It's too bad we signed the agreement against killing her."  
  
"I took are of that."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I reasonably assumed that we would not have an opportunity like this again to be rid of her. So, I had them add a clause to my contract that it was effective only until she was voted off. Then I can do as I please."  
  
"Rupert Giles, I do admire your sneaky side!"  
  
The watchers face flushed a bit. "If you will excuse me, I'd like to go talk to Xander and Tara."  
  
"Ok. I think I might go try to see if I can really remember that little guy. He's kind of cute, in a dumpy-little-guy sort of way..."  
  
The former librarian headed across the beach to see how the other members of his party were doing.  
  
"She really misses you," the dark haired young man said.  
  
"I miss her, too, Xander. But it just isn't going to happen. I wish I could trust it was just that once, but I must do what I must. I can't adjust to the disgust, and as much as I wanted to stay, I couldn't. I've been through enough in my life. I can't let myself love someone who would use me like that. Xander, what she did was like rape. Can you understand that?"  
  
Xander could taste bugs on his tongue as he recalled being under the control of that infamous vampire. "I understand."  
  
Tara laid her head on her friend's shoulder. "She'll be happy without me someday. She has to go on."  
  
Xander rested his head on top of the witches head. "We all do," he sighed, "we all do."  
  
******************************************************  
  
The group approached the tribal council area. It had been a tough challenge. It had been close, but in the end, their opponents had claimed victory. The vampire knew he would be the one voted off. After all, it was his fault they had lost. And of all things to lose on. He was a vampire for crying out loud. Raw squid should have been no problem, but he just couldn't keep it down. Now they had to get rid of one of their own.  
  
END PART ONE *******************************************************  
  
The teams:  
  
Team Rikamuru-  
  
Buffy  
  
Willow  
  
Wesley  
  
Angel  
  
Anya  
  
Riley  
  
Fred  
  
  
  
_________  
  
Team Skrandurak-  
  
Giles  
  
Xander  
  
Spike  
  
Tara  
  
Cordelia  
  
Jonathan  
  
Druscilla  
  
  
  
******************  
  
Pre-Council Interviews  
  
Xander - "We shouldn't be here, you know? I don't think we would be here if it wasn't for Mr. Peroxide over there. And what's with the hair anyway? There's no way that's natural. I sound like Cordelia, don't I?"  
  
***  
  
Tara - "I pictured it a little differently. I, uh, I thought Willow and I would be together. This isn't what I wanted at all. We were supposed to get stuck and, and work things out. That's the only reason I came here."  
  
***  
  
Spike - "Bloody hell, look at me! I'm sun bathing! I'll never have another chance like this and tonight those gits are going to bloody kick me off the island...I mean, come on, blood is one thing, raw fish is another. And that thing did things going down that shouldn't be possible. Now, get the hell out so I can enjoy what time I have left!"  
  
***  
  
Dru - "Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are..."  
  
***  
  
Giles - "Well, we'll see, won't we?"  
  
***  
  
Jonathan - "I just wish she'd quit staring at me."  
  
***  
  
Xander - "I just wish she'd quit staring at me. And calling me her kitten...Are you sure she can't bite me?"  
  
***  
  
Cordelia - "The only one here that I can trust is Giles. Spike doesn't like me for some reason. Dru doesn't notice me because I'm not male, Tara doesn't notice me because my hair's not red, I'm sure Jonathan wants me gone for not knowing who he is. Yep, I'm gone."  
  
********************************************  
  
Tribal Council  
  
Jeff stood and watched as the tribal members brought their torches and took their places.  
  
"Well, here we are. You'll all become a bit familiar with this place over the next few weeks. Tonight, one of you will leave. It's only been three days. I wonder if there have been any patterns you've noticed forming? Anything that might already influence your vote. Spike, you dropped the ball on today's challenge. How do you feel about that?"  
  
"Stupid git...How do you think I feel, pretty boy? And why in the bloody hell do you ask such stupid questions? Surely you know people run to the restroom when you give your little speeches. I don't care about the damned squid...I'm gone, regardless."  
  
"Alright then. Xander, you haven't seemed comfortable being here. What's up?"  
  
"What's up? Psycho-blooded sucking nympho purrs at me every time I turn around, and you want to know what's up? Come on."  
  
"Ok. Cordelia? Any comments?"  
  
"Well, since you ask-"  
  
"Does anyone have a stake? I can stake myself here, right? Even if they can't?"  
  
Cordelia just glared Spike without finishing what she was saying.  
  
"It's time to vote. Giles, you're first."  
  
***********  
  
"Druscilla. I'm only voting for you because I can't kill you...yet." Giles returned to his seat. Jeff sends Druscilla to vote next.  
  
************  
  
Dru votes for Cordelia. "You're no fun. And I don't like the way you look at my kitten."  
  
************  
  
With Dru sitting with her teammates, Jeff sends Cordelia to vote. Once she returns, Tara votes, follows, and then Jonathan.  
  
************  
  
"They told me to vote for you. I think I would have anyway, but I really don't want them pissed at me, so you're my vote. And I don't like you."  
  
************  
  
Xander is sent to vote, leaving only Spike.  
  
************  
  
The blond vampire sneered at the camera as he cast his vote for Cordelia. "Do you ever shut up? I might have voted for the pup, but you just never shut your yar!"  
  
*************  
  
Jeff tallies the vote. "Cordelia. Cordelia. Druscilla. Cordelia. Druscilla. Druscilla. That's three votes Cordelia, three votes Druscilla. Last vote, Druscilla. Druscilla, bring your torch and grab your bag."  
  
The vampiress smiled seductively at Xander. "See ya on the other side, kitten. prrrrrr"  
  
"I AM NOT YOUR KITTEN!"  
  
"Guys, please, Druscilla, bring your torch."  
  
Dru carried her torch to Jeff. "Druscilla, your torch has been extinguished. Good-bye."  
  
Giles stood up. "Jeff, is she officially out of the game?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Druscilla looked at the watcher. "Thinking of killing me now, luv?"  
  
Giles only smiled as a familiar voice spoke from the shadows. "No I am...can't neglect my duties just because I'm away from the Hellmouth." Just before the last words were spoken, a stake flew through the air, embedding itself firmly, yet momentarily, in the centuries old vampire's heart.  
  
"Sorry, kitten, maybe in the next life..." POOF  
  
Before anyone could utter a sound, Buffy was gone. Followed by  
  
"I AM NOT YOUR KITTEN!!!!!"  
  
*******************************************************  
  
  
  
  
  
AFTER COUNCIL INTERVIEWS  
  
Giles - "Well, now that that's out of the way, maybe I can enjoy myself a little." Xander - "Even dying, she still called me kitten!"  
  
Spike - "Well, that was a surprise. I guess these idiots like me after all."  
  
Tara - "I just voted my conscience. I didn't feel like she was pulling her weight. And Willow told me how mean she was to her."  
  
Jonathan - "They did tell me to vote for her. And I really don't think I can afford to be on anyone's bad side right now."  
  
Cordelia - "I know Spike voted for me. And Druscilla. But that means someone else voted for me. Now, what's up with that? One of my so-called friends voted for me. It had to be Jonathan. No, I think it was Tara, or Giles? Why would he vote for me? No, Jonathan. Or Tara...This is going to drive me nuts!"  
  
Xander - "She couldn't have hurt me while we hear...It might not have been so bad being her kitten for a little while..."  
  
*****************  
  
At the Skrandurak Tribe.  
  
"Get- Get- Get away from me, you, you, you vampire!"  
  
"Get a grip boy, I can't feast on you." Spike tapped his head. "The good guys went Microsoft on my head, remember? Just relax. We need to talk."  
  
Jonathan stopped backing away. "Talk about what?"  
  
"Wait one minute...Cordelia! He boy here has a question for you!"  
  
"I DO N-"  
  
"Shut your yip, you bloody wanker! I need her over here. I don't want Buffy's watchdogs getting their ears up!"  
  
They watched the seer approach.  
  
"What?" She tried hard to not be bitchy, but she WAS on a deserted island and now she was the center of attention for this vampire and this...boy.  
  
"Listen, both of you. I want to win this infernal thing. I don't stand a chance. I'm out next, you know that. Then the boy here and then you, sugar."  
  
Cordelia looked at the small male that Spike referred to as the boy. "I think you're write about you and him, but what makes you think that I'm on the list?"  
  
"Oh come on, look at them." He pointed to Giles, Xander, and Tara with his head. The three were in a similar huddle down the beach.  
  
Cordy watched. They were a little intense down there.  
  
The blonde vamp continued. "You aren't part of them anymore. The stutterer may not completely be a part of them yet, but the object of her shagging is, and they won't risk alienating Red, not after what's been going on between the two lately. So you fall third on the list."  
  
Cordelia nodded in agreement. "I was hoping we'd merge by then, but it wouldn't be any better. I'd have Angel's support, and Wes, and Fred, but the rest would stick with the Scoobies. SO what's your plan?"  
  
"Um," Jonathan spoke up, "I was planning on staying under the radar ands sneaking into the end of this thing."  
  
Vampire and demon both laughed. "Just shut up little man and listen and learn. There are six of us left. If we stick together, we can break them down. Problem is, there's three of them. If it came to a tie, seer girl here would go. You have the most votes against you so far. That means one of them has voted against you already."  
  
"I've been meaning to ask about that. I'm a little pissed. I know you and your dusty girlfriend voted against me, but these people are my friends...one of them voted for me."  
  
Jonathan squeaked. "It wasn't me, I swear. I voted for Druscilla. She scared me."  
  
William the Bloody sighed. "It doesn't matter. We have to stick together if we plan on sticking around. That means we have to drive a wedge in there somehow. I can't see a way, but there is a way to split the vote."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Glad you asked. Rupert will vote for me no matter what happens. I have his vote guaranteed. That means you have to piss one of the others off so that they will vote for you. Like the boy here said, he's under the radar. It's up to you m'lady."  
  
"How do I know you'll keep your word? You're, well, you're Spike. When we merge, what then?"  
  
"I figure you will have Wes and the mousy thing on your side. Angel is a tough one. I don't know if he'll follow his heart in the direction of Buffy or if he'll follow it towards you."  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
The two men looked at each other in disbelief, then looked at Cordy.  
  
"You don't know?" Jonathan asked.  
  
"You silly girl, don't you see? My grandsire is in love, and not with the slayer."  
  
"He is? Who with? It can't be Win...oh."  
  
"Oh. Yeah, so are we in this to the end or should I pack my bags?"  
  
Cordy shook herself out of her shock. "No. I'm in and Joey here is in, too."  
  
"Jonathan."  
  
"Whatever, and I know just what to do to break the vote."  
  
Cordelia turned on her heel and walked down the beach towards the other group. Spike watched her walk away.  
  
"I can't believe she doesn't know my name..." the boy sighed.  
  
The vampire just laughed.  
  
*************************************************  
  
On the other side of the island, the Rikamura Tribe...  
  
"You mean, like a cow?"  
  
Fred giggled. "Yeah, I had to plow fields and everything."  
  
Riley smiled in disbelief. "Good thing these guys showed up, huh?"  
  
"I don't think my hide would have made very good leather."  
  
The former soldier had to laugh. He didn't understand how this small girl could find humor in her former situation, but she did. She surprised him by putting her arm through his and pulled him with her as she walked.  
  
"Come on, let's go to the pool," she said, referring to the natural spring pond that was located just up the hill behind the camp.  
  
Riley called back to the camp. "Anya, Wes, Willow, Buffy, come on, we're going swimming."  
  
In the camp, Buffy flinched. She was sure the slight wasn't intentional, but she couldn't help but notice that he had left out Angel. She looked at her former lover, who was lying in the sun, wearing a very small pair of shorts and nothing else. He was loving this.  
  
"Angel? Want to go swimming?"  
  
Angel lifted his head and looked up the hill towards Riley, who was almost out of sight. He grinned. "Sure." The sun-bathing vamp jumped to his feet in a fluid-like movement.  
  
Anya, who didn't lift her head, said to whoever was listening, "I don't think we should be swimming in that water. There are things in it, you know. Things that are alive. They really should put some of that chlorine stuff in it."  
  
Wesley started snoring. Buffy shook her head at these people. "You guys are just nuts. Who knows how long we're going to have here. You should enjoy it while you can."  
  
"I am enjoying it," Anya "I'M not working. I'm sleeping. We'll never get a chance to sleep this much again and I think I like it. I know he does," pointing at the snoring man who used to be a rogue demon hunter who used to be a watcher.  
  
"AK, have it your way," Buffy said as she ran to catch up to the handsome, no longer too pale, vampire. "Hey, wait up!"  
  
Angel stopped and waited for his old girlfriend. It was easy, watching her. He used to feel a pain inside if he had to look at her, but now, there was nothing but a fondness, a fondness for an old friend.  
  
"Hey, you're looking good. The sunshine agrees with you."  
  
He laughed out loud. "It does. I think I might try for a sunburn. I haven't had one of those since I was a boy."  
  
"Ouch, trust me, you aren't missing anything."  
  
"I know. I was kidding. But, yeah, I like this. Just lying out here, soaking up rays, not doing anything, just thinking."  
  
"Thinking about what?"  
  
"Nothing really. Like just now, before Riley asked us all to go swimming, or all of you, I was thinking about this island. They're filming this. I know they say this little spell of Jeff's will let me, Spike, and Dru will let us show up on the film, but I won't believe it until I see it. Like right now, I picture myself watching it on TV and seeing you talking to yourself."  
  
The Slayer laughed. "It is strange."  
  
Angel went on. "And how interesting is this? I mean it's like the Sienfeld show. It's about nothing. There's no plot. You can't make a book or a story from it. People wouldn't have a clue as to what it was about, because it isn't about anything. It's just something for the producer to get rich from."  
  
"I don't know. Granted, there is no plot, but I think it's about getting to really know people. Getting to see the side you don't normally see, getting to hear their thoughts. And with all of the doom and gloom, and all of the sad and depressing things out there, this will be a little bright spot. I mean where else is someone going to see a friendly vampire get to enjoy himself in the surf and sand?"  
  
"You have a point. Let's race. Last one to the water is a Sulfur Demon."  
  
The two friends, and that's what they were now, ran up the hill, bumping Riley and Fred out of their way, and dove into the water at the same time. Willow, who was already floating about in the cool water, shrieked as the splash hit her. Even Riley was laughing at the sight of so much fun.  
  
  
  
**************************************************  
  
Meanwhile-  
  
"And another thing, what's with that red hair? It's so out. No one has hair like that anymore! Is it a witch thing?"  
  
Cordelia knew that Xander and Tara were not happy. That was the point. It hurt a little to know that she was hurting Xander by bad mouthing his friend, but if it made him and Tara vote against her, it would break up that vote with Giles.  
  
"And she never stops talking. I know I talk a lot, but so does she. And her's is always so chipper and perky. God, who wants chipper and perky at eight in the morning? No wonder she became a lesbian."  
  
Xander gasped.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. That was mean."  
  
"C- c- Cordelia, you aren't mean anymore, I know you aren't. You must be doing this for a reason."  
  
"You don't know me, Tara. You just know what you've heard. I'm a bitch, baby."  
  
Xander stood up and walked away, talking over his shoulder. "Yeah. You are."  
  
Spike watched. Cordelia was going overboard. It would serve it's purpose here, but in the end, she was casting a vote against herself.  
  
***********************************************  
  
This is where Mark W ends it. The following chapters are where I take over. Who will be the Sole Survivor? Druscilla has received the first vote. Who will be next?  
  
TO BE CONTIUED-- 


	2. Boulder Challenge

SURVIVOR  
  
Author: MeB (with Mark W's consent to continue)  
  
Email: lenoxfiles@hotmail.com  
  
Spoiler: No major spoiling.  
  
Summary: Who will be the Ultimate Survivor?  
  
Disclaimer: All characters of Buffy tVS are the property of Joss. Survivor belongs to Jeff Probst.  
  
Rating - PG-13  
  
xwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxw  
  
  
  
SURVIVOR  
  
One has been voted off...  
  
Druscilla.  
  
Who will be the next voted off?  
  
___________________________  
  
The Boulder Challenge.  
  
Rikamura Tribe.  
  
Winifred-"They really do have some serious issues to work out, you know. I mean, I know Angel, and he's really a nice guy, a nice boss, and everything. And I don't really know Riley, but since we've been on the island, things haven't gone all that smoothly in the camp." Pauses. "If things keep going as they have been, there's gonna be a fight and someone is gonna get hurt."  
  
***  
  
"Riley, what are you doing?" Buffy asked him as she approached him near the fire.  
  
Riley was adding twigs and branches to the fire and poking it with a stick. He grinned at her. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm starting a fire."  
  
Buffy sighed. "I can see that, only I'm not referring to the kind of flames you're poking at now. I'm talking about the fire you have going between you and Angel."  
  
Riley let out a sigh and avoided her gaze. "I'm not starting any fire."  
  
"That's bogus, and we both know it. Since we've been here, you've done nothing but completely ignore him. You haven't said a word to him. You don't include his name when you're talking to us. We're supposed to be a team."  
  
"We are a team."  
  
"Angel is a part of the team," Buffy reminded him.  
  
He shrugged. "I know."  
  
"Then treat him as if he were so he knows it." With that, Buffy turned and walked away.  
  
The following morning, Riley and Angel were booted out of bed early and told that they had to go and fetch the mail. Glaring at each other, they didn't have any choice. They headed for the mail, a basket hanging from a branch, which displayed their team colors-blue.  
  
"I haven't been ignoring you," Riley pointed out.  
  
Angel shrugged. "I never said you were."  
  
"It's just that.I don't know what to say to you without wanting to take your head from your shoulders, or putting a stake through your heart."  
  
Angel stopped and glared at him. "Is this because of Buffy? In case you didn't know it, I'm not a part of her life any more."  
  
"You're still in her heart."  
  
"And that bothers you?"  
  
"Yeah. It does."  
  
"Well, you're not exactly a part of her life any more either. Didn't you go off to some assignment? Are you planning on coming back or something?" He shook his head. "I'm not standing in your way."  
  
"You'll always be standing in my way." Angel pointed at his chest. "You know, I've had just about enough from you. Whatever your problem is, keep it to yourself. We have a challenge to win soon, and I'd like for us all to be on the same team while we face it."  
  
"Oh, I'm a team player. Don't worry about that. But we're not through with this."  
  
"Yes, we are. It ends here and now."  
  
They glared at each other. Then Angel took the mail and looked at it.  
  
At the campfire, Buffy, Willow, Wesley, Anya, and Winifred were discussing the mutual problem they all shared.  
  
"Look, this is kinda pointless," Buffy began, "but in the event it happens, if we find ourselves at Tribal Council, the vote has to be unanimous. Agreed?"  
  
Everyone, except Willow, nods in agreement. Willow casts a glare at Anya, but it goes unnoticed. She wasn't paying attention to what they were discussing anyway. All she thought of was being awakened by Anya's useless chatter, and going to sleep-or at least trying to-with Anya's useless complaining, or sitting at the fire at meal time to hear Anya's constant bickering.  
  
"Besides, he's just too good looking to keep around," Anya said to no one in particular. "He disturbs my dreams so I can't get any sleep, and when I wake in the morning, there he is. When I go down to the beach, wouldn't you know it? He's there, too! The man is everywhere I am and that has just got to stop. A girl can't go around and concentrate on winning a lot of money- which is the American way-when he's walking around with no shirt, perspiration making his body glisten, and posing the way he does, and-"  
  
"Will you shut up?!" Willow demanded. "You're driving me crazy!"  
  
Buffy glared at Anya. "Me, too, Anya. Stop drooling. It kills the appetite."  
  
***  
  
THE BOULDER CHALLENGE!  
  
"This is the Boulder Challenge," Probst began as he stood in-between two huge boulders a few feet taller than he was, "and all you have to do as a tribe is get to the finish line before your opponents do." He began to point. "You must navigate these boulders down this steep decline, and then follow that path around to the beach. Be careful, because at the end of the decline, you have to turn the boulder away from the cliff. If it goes over the cliff, you automatically lose the challenge. Once you get down to the beach, there are two towers. Each tower has the name of your tribe. To win the challenge, you must knock over your opponents tower." He looks at the Rikamura tribe. "You have one too many on your team so someone has to sit out."  
  
Angel glanced over at Winifred. "Uh, sorry, Fred, but that has to be you."  
  
Fred nodded her head and smiled wryly. "It's okay. I understand. I'm small and you don't want the boulder to roll over me. Just win, okay?"  
  
Anya snorted. "Win? Of course, we're going to win. That's why you're sitting out."  
  
Willow shot Anya a look. She looked at Buffy. "I sure could use a spell right now," she said softly. "You know, the kind that turns her mouth into a zipper, and-and it has a padlock on the end so I can-"  
  
"Survivors ready?" Probst asked.  
  
Both tribes had taken their place, and indicated that they were ready. Probst lowered his hand. "Go!"  
  
Both tribes began to navigate their boulder while Fred and Probst looked on. They watched as the tribes were successful in getting their boulders down the steep decline. It was touch and go for the Rikamura Tribe as their boulder had picked up a bit more speed than they had intended.  
  
"C'mon, Angel!" Riley shouted. "You've got to keep it together on your side!" However, Riley was pushing toward Angel instead of helping to guide it as the others were. He didn't realize he was doing it, but he was hindering their efforts more than he was helping. Because of it, they got behind. By the time they made it to the beach, the Skrandurak Tribe had already knocked their tower over and won immunity.  
  
***  
  
Pre-Tribal Council  
  
Buffy-"I can't believe we lost this challenge."  
  
***  
  
Angel-"Well, this was a tough challenge. It was physical. Pushing a boulder along a path and to the beach isn't exactly easy. I'm just glad we chose Fred to sit that one out because we had one more member than the other tribe did...I wouldn't have wanted to see that boulder crush her." There is a pause. "Riley, maybe, but not Fred. She's really small."  
  
***  
  
Willow-"I wonder what Tara is doing on the other side of the island...D-do you think she's thinking about me?"  
  
***  
  
Riley-"I'm really not too concerned about tonight's vote. I know who's getting the boot. I don't like voting for her in this way, but she really has no use on this island. We've all got to keep an eye on her, but she has to go. Fred just has to go. There's no other option. She is our weakest member."  
  
***  
  
Buffy-"God, we-we really lost this, didn't we? But, my God, they have Cordelia Chase! We should of won! I-I can't be on a team that loses to another team who-who-who has Cordelia as a member!"  
  
***  
  
Wesley-suppressing a yawn. He blinks. "I'm terribly sorry. Is this some type of interview we're doing here?"  
  
***  
  
Anya-"This is for a million dollars, right? That's...that's really a lot of money, and I am an American now...so...can't I just vote everyone off now and take the money?"  
  
____________________________  
  
The Tribal Council  
  
Jeff Probst watched the tribe as they entered into the Tribal Council and they took their places. They all had solemn expressions, and that was as it should be. He could tell they had not expected to be here on this night.  
  
"Well, here we are, Day 6. This is your first Tribal Council, and before we really get into the voting, I'd like to ask you how your first 6 days has been on this island. Anyone care to comment?"  
  
Anya raised her hand.  
  
Probst nodded at her. "Anya..."  
  
She sighed. "This island isn't really sanitary." She looked at the others. "Well, it isn't. There's dirt everywhere."  
  
"It's an island, Squeaky-Clean," Willow told her. "It's covered in dirt."  
  
"Willow, how are you adjusting to life on the island?" Probst asked her.  
  
"Uh-me?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Well...i-it is hard, but...but as long as I'm with my friends a-and people I trust, I'm okay." She smiled. "We work together, and we put up a really nice shelter. M-my lean to faces the ocean so I wake up to a really spectacular view."  
  
"Do you think you'll get the vote tonight?"  
  
She quickly shook her head. "Nope."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"'Cause...I may not be able to cast any spells on the island, but you can bet your shiny hiney I will once we're off the island. So if you all know what's good for you..." she trailed off and smiled.  
  
Everyone looked at her.  
  
Willow giggled. "I'm only kidding, guys."  
  
"Well...let me ask you this..." Probst paused for affect. "Is there any type of strategy for tonight's vote?"  
  
Angel nodded. "Yes. There is."  
  
"And what's that?"  
  
"We're taking down the one person who could be a threat later on in the game?"  
  
"We?"  
  
Angel nodded.  
  
"Would you care to elaborate on that?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Angel smiled. "That's part of the game."  
  
"Okay. You all seem to have a handle on this game. You have your shot now at changing this game with the person you vote off." He pointed to Winifred. "Fred...you have first vote."  
  
______________________  
  
The votes...  
  
Fred-"Riley, you're a good looking guy, but I have a significant other. Because you're so cute, I feel bad for voting against you."  
  
Wesley-"No hard feelings, Riley."  
  
Anya-"Bye, Riley. Please don't hate me. At least you get to go home where it's clean and the water is fresh. And you can go out and earn your money, too."  
  
Riley-"Fred, you are the weakest member here. Your time is up. I'm sorry. I would have liked a chance to get to know you better."  
  
Angel...writes one word on the card and holds it up. RILEY. He folds it, tucks it into the container, and doesn't say a word.  
  
Willow-"Anya, why don't you go back to the Magic Shop and make a lot of money. You complain too much. Blah blah blah...That's all we hear. We hear Blah blah blah when we get ready for bed, and we hear Blah blah blah when we wake up. Blah blah blah."  
  
Buffy-"Sorry, Riley. You have to go..." She thought of Angel and smiled. "...so I can have some fun."  
  
_________________  
  
Back at the Council...  
  
Probst stood at his podium with the container. "I shall tally the votes." He pulled one out. "Riley..." Then another. "Riley..." And a third. "Riley..." And one more. "The fourth vote is for Riley. Riley, I'm afraid there isn't any reason to pull out any more because they won't help you even if they aren't votes for you. The majority rules. The second member to be cast from the island...Riley Finn."  
  
Riley carried up his torch and Probst extinguished the flame.  
  
"The tribe has spoken. You must leave the Council area immediately."  
  
Riley walked away, defeated. The others watched him go.  
  
"Head back to camp," Probst told the others. "Tomorrow's a new day."  
  
_____________________  
  
Two down...  
  
Dru Riley  
  
The remaining...  
  
Rikamuru Tribe Buffy Willow Angel Winifred Wesley Anya  
  
Skrandurak Tribe Spike Cordelia Giles Xander Tara Jonathan  
  
Who will be the Sole Survivor?  
  
TO BE CONTINUED-- 


	3. Give Her The Boot

SURVIVOR  
  
Two has been voted off...  
  
Druscilla. Riley.  
  
Who will be voted off next?  
  
___________________________  
  
Pre-Tribal Council  
  
Giles-"This game is a bit more difficult than I had originally thought, b- but I must tell you that there are benefits to enjoy here. For me, it really isn't about money. I-I don't really care for money. This is like a vacation for me, really. A beach. The sun. There's no-no research involved here. No books to study through for-for whatever research there is that requires, you know, researching."  
  
***  
  
Cordelia-"Ohmigod! There's a spider thingie on my foot. Get it off!! Aaaagh!"  
  
***  
  
Jonathan-"I think I've got a pretty good alliance with Spike. But I don't know how that happened." Pauses. "Well...at least he's protecting me from Cordelia. She's been giving me a lot of dirty looks lately. And she keep calling me Jim."  
  
***  
  
Xander-"We had to swim out to these rafts way out in the water, and the rafts were tied in place. There were two of them. One raft for our team, and one raft for theirs." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I told her not to do it. I told her that it wasn't the right rope, but she gave it a tug anyway. Raft came apart, we each grabbed a few bamboo poles to keep afloat and...we swam back to the beach."  
  
***  
  
Tara-"God, I'm-I'm really sorry." Pauses. "D-did Willow mention me? A-at all?" Smiles. "T-tell her I said 'hi'."  
  
***  
  
Spike-"This game is full of surprises. I want to choose this bugger to get his arse booted, then I'm changing my mind to give the ole boot to this gal, and...then I'm changing my bloody mind again! It's like back in the old days when I used to walk the streets at night with a grand ole buffet on one side and a ripe fruit stand on the other. Damn! The decisions." Shrugs. "Ah. Well...it's time to give her the boot."  
  
____________________________  
  
The Tribal Council  
  
Jeff Probst watched the tribe as they entered into the Tribal Council and they took usual their places. They once again all wore solemn expressions, and that was as it should be. From the expressions he saw on their faces, he could tell that they had expected to be there with him on this night.  
  
"Well, here we are, Day 9. This is your second Tribal Council. I know you've all had a rough challenge and it didn't go as you expected." He pointed to Giles. "How do you feel about what happened, Rupert?"  
  
Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I-I feel as if we should keep Tara away from rafts, or-or any type of floating device for that matter." He paused. "At least we could all swim."  
  
"That's a plus," Xander commented.  
  
Probst looked at Xander. "How do you mean?"  
  
Xander blinked at him. "What? Huh? Who me?" He shook his head. "I don't have anything to say about this. No name mentioning pass these lips."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. "What are you afraid of? You think Red will come over here and tan your bloody hide? Is that why you won't come out and say Tara blew the challenge?"  
  
Probst turned to regard Tara. "Is that how you see it? Were you responsible for losing the challenge, and if so, do you expect to be voted off the island?"  
  
"Oh, well, that's a bloody brilliant work of deductive reasoning on your part," Spike replied sarcastically.  
  
Tara glanced shyly at Probst and nodded. "I-it's my fault. I-I broke the raft and w-we had to swim back." She paused. "I-I won't be mad at anyone for voting me off."  
  
"I'd still vote for you even if you were mad," Cordelia told her bluntly.  
  
Tara gave her a look.  
  
"Okay," Probst replied as he looked as Xander...you have first vote."  
  
Xander got up. He looked at the group, looked at Probst, and then he resigned himself to the fates that be.  
  
______________________  
  
The votes...  
  
Xander-"My vote is for Cordelia, 'cause she was my only other choice besides Tara who I can't vote for." Pauses. "Willow! I did not vote for Tara."  
  
***  
  
Giles-"Sweet girl, Tara. But you don't know a thing about roughing the outdoors."  
  
***  
  
Tara-"Spike...you came after my girl a few t-times, so...I don't like you."  
  
***  
  
Spike-"Tara, you bloody made us take a swim. Now you can take one back to the main land."  
  
***  
  
Cordelia-"Tara, whenever I'm trying to catch the wonderful rays of the sun, you're always standing in my light. This vote is to help you stand somewhere else."  
  
***  
  
Jonathan-"Tara...sorry. They told me to." _________________  
  
Back at the Council...  
  
Probst stood at his podium with the container. "I shall tally the votes." He pulled one out. "Tara..."  
  
Tara looked up at him.  
  
Then another. "Tara..."  
  
Tara looked at Giles. Giles didn't return the look.  
  
And a third. "Tara..."  
  
Tara looked at Xander. He was shaking his head and mouthing the words, "It wasn't me! Please tell Willow that it wasn't me!"  
  
And one more. "The fourth vote is for Tara. There's no reason to look at any further votes. The third member to be cast from the island...Tara."  
  
Tara smiled sadly at the group, waved and brought up her torch.  
  
"The tribe has spoken. You must leave the Council area immediately."  
  
Tara walked away, defeated. The others watched her go, and most of them felt bad about the vote.  
  
"Okay. Head on back to camp," Probst told the others. "Tomorrow's a new day."  
  
_____________________  
  
Three down...  
  
Dru  
  
Riley  
  
Tara  
  
The remaining...  
  
  
  
Rikamuru Tribe  
  
Buffy  
  
Willow  
  
Angel  
  
Winifred  
  
Wesley  
  
Anya  
  
  
  
Skrandurak Tribe  
  
Spike  
  
Cordelia  
  
Giles  
  
Xander  
  
Jonathan 


	4. The Voting Blues

SURVIVOR VOTES BLUES  
  
Author: MeB  
  
Email: lenoxfiles@hotmail.com  
  
Spoiler: No major spoiling.  
  
Summary: Entering into the middle of the Survivor series comes a catastrophe so devastating, only one hope is left...The readers from the list.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters of Buffy tVS are the property of Joss. Survivor belongs to Jeff Probst. The pen names of the friends on the SFA list belong to them. I am borrowing them. The Cable Guy belongs to the wild Jim Carey.  
  
Rating - PG-13 xwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwx  
  
SURVIVOR VOTES BLUES  
  
John Gage, Paramedic, wearing blue coveralls with a drill in a holster on one hip and a rolled cable clipped on a loop on his other hip. Speaks with a lisp. "Oh, man! This is the worst dilemma I have ever seen in my life!!"  
  
Jeff Probst looks up from his desk, clearly agitated. "What?! Who the hell are you?" He taps the intercom on his desk. "Security! Get up here on the double." He rises to his feet and faces the intruder. "How did you get in here? This is a secure location."  
  
"Security is for the insecure, Jeff. And right now, I know you're feeling really insecure. That's why I came. I came to help you, Jeff...before it's too late."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"The Survivors on the island, Jeff. Something's wrong and you have to help them."  
  
Probst blinked at him. He looked at the monitors on the wall and watched closely. On one monitor, Spike walked up to Giles who was lying on the beach, and he kicked sand in his face.  
  
"Always wanted to do that to the ole' git," he said with a chuckle as Giles jumped to his feet.  
  
On another screen, Angel and Buffy were sitting on the beach, gazing at each other...They were lost in their own thoughts.  
  
On another screen, Fred and Anya were sitting on a log as they looked up at a pacing, irate Willow who was throwing her hands up into the air. "They voted off Tara! Tara! C-can you believe this? I mean, sweet Tara...my baby. How could they do this?" She pointed at her unwilling audience. "I'm going to make it to the merge, and then...then I'll find out who was behind it. Who was responsible for voting off Tara...I'll find out...Someone's gonna get it fer sure, I'm so mad."  
  
On another screen, Wesley was snoring soundly, a crab sitting right on his face.  
  
And on another screen, Xander was working on keeping the fire going while he muttered to himself, "I didn't vote off Tara. Willow has to believe me. It wasn't me. It wasn't me...It was them!"  
  
Behind him, Cordelia had her hands on her hips and she was glaring at Jonathan. "What is your childhood trauma, Joe?"  
  
Jonathan frowned. "M-my name is Jonathan. Not Joe."  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Like that's my fault or something because your name is Jane. I'm not your mother." She started to walk away.  
  
Jonathan looked after her. Then he squared his shoulders and shouted, "Oh...Oh yeah? Well...what's your childhood trauma?!"  
  
Probst kept watching the screens and finally, he looked at John Gage. "I see nothing amiss."  
  
"'I ssee nothing amisss,'" he repeated. "Oh, man, Jeff. You are so blind, you couldn't see somebody else's nose if it was right in front of ya." He shook his head. "Don't you get it? The problem isn't there. It's not on the island, ya goober. It's on...that!!" He pointed at Probst's computer. "It's on that Fan/Fic list. I'm sure you know all about that...don't'cha, Jeffie?"  
  
Probst looked at him knowingly.  
  
Gage nodded. "Yeah. I thought you did. You know all about those crazy writers out there on that SFA Fan/Fiction list. If they're not trying to spoil the Spoilers than they're trying to vote the Voters. Gotta watch out for that MeB guy. He's the worst one...and that friend of his, Mark W. Oh, yeah...I see the knowing look in your eyes, baby. I'm on to you like flies on the doggy doodoo."  
  
"I still don't see what you're getting at here."  
  
"You wanted votes for your last Survivor installment...well, you got 'em, didn'tcha?" He put his face close to Probst's menacingly. "DIDN'TCHA?!"  
  
Probst involuntarily stepped back. "Yes. I did."  
  
"But your votes are a dilemma...You got 7 votes. Only one of those votes went to one person...but the other votes, Jeff?" He looked at him.  
  
Probst sighed. "It's...it's a three way tie."  
  
"Three way tie...Let's do the math, Jeffie, 'k? That means three of your survivors have two points. And you need votes to break the ties."  
  
Probst nodded. "This is true. We need more votes."  
  
Gage looked at the computer. He dove into the computer and laughed. "I'll be back! Because I'm the CABLE GUY!!"  
  
Probst stared at his screen. "Where are you going?"  
  
"You can thank Mark W, and the people of the SFA Fan/Fiction list for their votes...but without more votes...you're doomed, Jeffie." He looked out from the screen, his eyes red. "I'll get those votes to come in."  
  
He laughed like a maniac.  
  
Probst turned off his computer.  
  
________________________  
  
SURVIVOR VOTES BLUES-The Sequel  
  
Probst stepped back from his desk, having just turned off his computer when suddenly, it turned itself back on. The computer began to shake, and then the shaking took control of the desk. Probst took several steps back...staring in amazement.  
  
"What the...?"  
  
Then he saw it.  
  
A head pulled itself from the screen. A maniac-like grin was pasted on its face and its eyes glowed bright red. Its hands reached out and grabbed the edge of the desk. It pulled itself out with a "AAaaargggh! Errrrrrhhhhhhnnnnnnn! Iiiiiioooooooouuussss!"  
  
Then...it was free.  
  
The familiar blue coveralls and the drill on one hip, the cable on the other, made Probst realize who it was.  
  
"Oh...it's you." He rolled his eyes. "The Cable guy."  
  
The Cable Guy turned to leer at him. "That's right, little Jeffie. But you can call me...Will Robinson."  
  
"Don't you have a real name?"  
  
"I have many names, Jeffie. And all of them are as real to me as the sun that shines upon the flowers of nature." He handed him a slip of computer printout paper. "Here it is, buddy boy. Take it."  
  
Probst took it. "And this is?"  
  
"The vote you were looking for."  
  
He looked at the paper. "This is it then. The deciding vote from Cori. And she has voted for--"  
  
Suddenly, the Cable Guy slapped duct tape on his mouth. "Oh, I just knew it was too good to be true!! I thought you weren't gonna be like the others but I was wrong!"  
  
"Mmmpppphhhhtt?"  
  
"You want to spoil it for everyone, just like the others! Even now, they're talking about Spike in Africa or Lousiana, or whatever! But the point is it has to end!"  
  
Probst ripped the tape off from his mouth. "You have some serious issues, don't you?"  
  
The Cable Guy looked at him seriously. "Actually, I do subscribe to quite a few popular ssubsscriptions like Time Life Magazine, Nickelodeon, and the Amazing Spider-Man. You're right, Jeffie. I do have ssome sserious issues." He got into his face. "But this isn't about me, iss it? IS IT?"  
  
Probst didn't respond.  
  
"Just don't spoil it for the others, man. So what, you have your deciding vote, but that's all it is. You can't tell us now who that vote is for. You just can't." He looked at him with a pleading look. "Just send the next installment."  
  
He nodded. "It will be sent, but I'm not the sender."  
  
The Cable Guy sneered. "No, of course not. You're only a pawn in this to be used by the list, just like I am. It's that darn Meb guy who's the sender. Who does he think he is? Vic Mackee?" He pointed at Probst. "Well, I'm fighting him, Jeffie poo. You should, too. In fact, I'm taking on the whole darned list and I'm kicking some serious butts!"  
  
"That's interesting, but if you don't mind...I've got a show to do."  
  
"All riiiiiighty then, poopypants. But I'm watching you very closely." He paused for affect. "I think you're gonna see that the next installment of Survivor isn't gonna be what you expect."  
  
Probst looked at him. "A warning?"  
  
"Like the weather."  
  
Probst looked puzzled. Then he shook his head. "Look. I don't care what happens next, just as long as you don't show up and ruin anything. Don't go anywhere near that island."  
  
"Wouldn't dream of it," the Cable Guy said as he began to climb back into the computer. "It's the wrong island anyway. Couldn't find Ginger or Maryann and sso it's just no fun without them!"  
  
After he was back in the computer, Probst turned it off. And as an after thought, he unplugged it.  
  
______________________  
  
TO BE CONTINUED-- 


	5. The Bluff

SURVIVOR  
  
Three have been voted off...  
  
Druscilla. Riley. Tara.  
  
Who will be the next survivor voted off at Tribal Council?  
  
___________________________  
  
Skrandurak Tribe 7:38 am Day 10  
  
"I haven't got the slightest idea what you're bitching about," Spike told Giles as the two men made the morning walk up to the Tribe's mailbox. "You were the one who pushed us all to vote for Tara in the first place."  
  
Giles glared at him through his glasses. "You-you wanted to vote her off long before I did, so don't play me for a fool. And besides...why are you joining me for mail call anyway? Do you really think you could form some kind of alliance with me?"  
  
Spike snorted. "Alliance? With you? That's a bloody laugh."  
  
They made it to the mailbox in one piece and Giles pulled out the roll of parchment. He read it to himself. Then he read it again. After a third time of reading it, he finally said, "Oh my..."  
  
"Fess up, Watcher. What's on the bloody note?"  
  
Giles read it out loud.  
  
"'Conditions are harsh, and nerves are easily bruised. Now there's a way to become somewhat amused. Pick two of your tribe that in one thing disagree Send them off packing, in hopes that peace they will see. Give them this package for them to decide How they shall use it to end their foolish pride."  
  
Giles looked at Spike.  
  
Spike looked into the mailbox and he found a very small package. "Well, bugger this. What's this about?"  
  
Giles sighed. "It-it would appear that two of us are going to be chosen to take a walk and air out whatever differences there are between us." He looked at Spike. "Perhaps you and I should go. There is so much I would love to tell you."  
  
Spike snorted. "I'll bet there is."  
  
They headed back to the tribe and told the others the news. Cordelia, Xander, and Jonathan had mixed feelings about the whole thing.  
  
"I've got absolutely nothing against any of you," Xander declared ferverently. "You see, I'd vote against all of you the same, so...I'm not a good candidate for this trek in the wild with one of you insane psychopaths."  
  
Jonathan sighed. "I'm just the middle man."  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "You're not the middle man, Jack. There is no middle!"  
  
"My name is Jonathan."  
  
"Whatever!"  
  
"Well...I for one am out of this," Spike said as a matter of fact.  
  
Giles regarded him. "Y-you're not excluded from this, Spike. In fact, if anyone should go, it-it should be you."  
  
Spike shook his head. "That's not what the note says. It says two people have to go out and clear the air. Two people who have one thing in which they disagree." He tossed up his hands. "Well, I for one can easily find hundreds of things that I don't like about the whole bloody lot of you." He pointed at Xander. "For one, he talks in his sleep. Last night, he was moaning about Tara."  
  
Xander stared at him. "I-I was not dreaming about Tara!"  
  
"He drools, too. Ruined a perfectly good shirt of mine, and I'm still bloody wondering how the drool got there in the first place!"  
  
"Hey, I did not dro--"  
  
Spike turned on Jonathan. "And you're nothing but a free rider. You do the work, sure, but you're hanging on everybody's coattails to get there."  
  
"Leave Jimmy alone!" Cordelia said defensively.  
  
"Uh, that's Jonathan," Jonathan corrected.  
  
Spike looked at Cordelia and he pointed at her. "And you smell really bad."  
  
Cordelia turned white. "Omigod! What?!" She sniffed at her hands. Then she raised an arm and sniffed. "OMIGOD! OMIGOD! Why didn't somebody tell me!??! I hate this place!"  
  
"Plus you talk too much. You complain even more, and you can't even get this poor chaps name right! What kind of a bloody twit can't get one name right?"  
  
Giles sighed. "En-enough, Spike. We see your point." He paused as all eyes turned to him. "V-very well, then. The answer is quite simple, really. There are two of us who will get this package and leave for their journey." He looked at each one of them. "Cordelia...and Jonathan."  
  
"What?!" Cordelia exclaimed.  
  
"Huh?!" Jonathan exploded. "No. Wait. Spike and I should go. At least it would be a quick death."  
  
Cordelia shot him a look. "That was uncalled for, Jameson!"  
  
Jonathan rolled his eyes. ______________________________  
  
Rikamura Tribe-  
  
"You have to go," Willow said sadly. "The stones that Anya rolled never lie." She rolled her eyes indicating what she thought of Anya and her stones.  
  
"But-but this is crazy!!" Buffy exclaimed. "I-I don't have anything against Fred!"  
  
Angel took Buffy aside. "Yes, you do."  
  
She looked at him, puzzled. "I do? Well, I'm sorry that I do, even though I don't know what it is yet." She sighed and gave Angel her pouty look. "But why did we have to agree with Anya's stones?"  
  
Angel hid a chuckle. "Ah, all it was that we did was put in six stones in a bag and two of them were colored stones. Let Anya think the stones had spoken if she wants to." He paused. "You do have to go with Fred, and you'll find that you do have differences."  
  
"What differences?" Buffy wanted to know.  
  
"She doesn't like you because she has noticed that...we've been having a lot of fun together on this island."  
  
"Well la-de-da for Fred!" Buffy exclaimed. "I am having fun on this island with you. Can't a girl slayer be entitled to a little fun?"  
  
Angel smiled. "Look. Just go, do whatever that package says...and come back. That simple."  
  
Buffy sighed.  
  
She finally met with Fred, and the two left for their trek.  
  
Willow watched them go as Anya approached her.  
  
Anya smiled. "See? My stones really worked. Those two will become the best of friends for sure now, thanks to me and my rocks."  
  
Willow gave her a sarcastic smile. "Aw, gee. That's really nice, Anya."  
  
She heard Anya go back to the campfire where she opened her bag of stones and exclaimed, "Hey!! The stones! Th-they're all the same color!"  
  
Willow grinned from ear to ear and decided to go for a walk on the beach. __________________________________  
  
The Bluff-A place in between both camps.  
  
Jeff Probst waited as from one side, Buffy and Fred approached, and from the other side, there came Jonathan and Cordelia.  
  
"I don't see how it can be so hard for you to remember one name," Jonathan said as he took a deep breath. "It's Jon-a-than. That's three syllables. Like Cor-del-ia. Also three."  
  
"Right," Cordelia said tiredly. "Whatever."  
  
"I don't like the way you look at Angel," Fred was saying to Buffy. "And I can't stand it that you're all he talks about. You two are a thing of the past. Get over it and move on."  
  
Buffy shook her head. "You know, I am really wishing you were a vampire right now because I could really use some slaying time!"  
  
"You wanna piece of me?" Fred declared.  
  
"Greetings!" Probst called to them.  
  
They stopped and looked at him. They all approached him as he waited. They saw a table with some snacks and drinks and every dispute they had was immediately forgotten.  
  
"Omigod! Chicken wings!" Buffy exclaimed.  
  
Jonathan began to drool. "Nacho's and cheese!"  
  
"Pepsi!!" Fred joined in.  
  
Cordelia raised her arms in supplication. "Crystal Light! Thank you, Jesus!"  
  
Then they waited for Probst to tell them what they had to do to get it.  
  
He smiled. "You don't have to do anything. You will stay up here on this bluff and you will stuff yourselves full while you enjoy the company you are with."  
  
Buffy looked at Fred. "That's it?"  
  
He nodded. "The four of you, yes."  
  
Fred smiled. "I don't really mind if you look at Angel."  
  
Buffy hugged her.  
  
Cordelia looked at Jonathan. "Look...I don't have to know your name to eat with you, do I?"  
  
Jonathan was looking at the food and the cold drinks. "Carolyn...you can call me anything you want to."  
  
"Great!" Then she looked at him. "Wait a minute...who did you call me?"  
  
Probst grinned at them. "The four of you enjoy. I'll be back an hour before sunset so that I'll let you have a head start back to your new camps before it gets dark. Until then...enjoy."  
  
He left them then.  
  
As they were eating, it dawned on them what he had just said.  
  
"Nwcmps?" Buffy inquired with a mouthful of food.  
  
They looked at each other. ________________________________  
  
Skrandurak Tribe Later that evening...  
  
Spike, Giles, and Xander were sitting at the campfire when to their surprise, Buffy and Fred showed up.  
  
"Hi," Buffy said cheerfully. "We're your new tribe members."  
  
Xander looked at them. "Wait a minute. What just happened?"  
  
Buffy sighed. "The package we were given had a map for us to get here, and so now, here we are."  
  
Spike looked up at Buffy and he grinned.  
  
_________________________________  
  
Rikamura Tribe Later that evening...  
  
Angel, Willow, and Anya were sitting around the fire while a few feet a way, Wesley snored to his hearts content. Those who were awake were surprised as Jonathan and Cordelia approached.  
  
"What's going on?" Angel asked. "Where's Buffy?"  
  
"And Fred?" Anya put in.  
  
Cordelia put her hands on her hips. "Well, they were traded in for us. Now...we're here to help your tribe win."  
  
Willow looked at her with daggers. "We were winning."  
  
_______________________________  
  
Skrandurak Tribe Pre-Tribal Council Interviews  
  
Spike-"The little tramp hasn't said two words to me since she's stepped foot in our camp. Well, unless you count the two words you can't say on local TV, that is, but..." He shook his head. "She's got her head in the clouds about Angel, and now she's with us and he's over there." He laughed.  
  
Fred-"Angel likes Buffy. Spike likes Buffy. Why can't they like me?"  
  
Giles-"I'm very good with balance, as-as you could see with the stilts challenge. I-I managed to stay up longer than the rest of my tribe..." He shook his head. "But for the life of me...I-I just can't see any practical use for Fred being here. She has not made any contributions at all."  
  
Buffy-"Fred has got to go. She gets on my nerves...And she thinks she can take me on? I know a lot of dark alleys I could take her to."  
  
Xander-"I really, really do wish they would stop talking about the food. Do they have any idea how hungry I am? I'm starting to see chicken legs when I look at Buffy and Fred. I-I really need help. I'm thinking of eating them."  
  
_________________  
  
Tribal Council  
  
"Well, here we are. Day 12." Probst smiled at the five survivors of Skrandurak Tribe. "Would any one care to tell me how they're feeling right now?"  
  
"Hungry," Xander told him. "Very, very hungry."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
Giles glared at him. "Can we just get on with this please?"  
  
Probst nodded. "Sure we can. I just wanted to discuss how you all felt about being here at Tribal Council once again, and with two new members in your tribe."  
  
"Oh, it feels bloody marvelous," Spike replied. "Can't you just tell?"  
  
Buffy shrugged. "I like my new tribe. Xander has been acting strange lately, but...I like the change. We do have to roll with the changes, don't we?"  
  
Xander looked at Buffy and saw roasted chicken. "You do look...very good, Buffy...You smell good, too."  
  
The chicken smiled back and clucked.  
  
Probst looked at Fred. "How do you feel about the change?"  
  
Fred shrugged. "I'm okay with it. I just don't know anybody and I think I'm a goner tonight."  
  
"One nibble before you go?" Xander inquired in a daze.  
  
Probst paused. "All right. Fred, you go first."  
  
___________  
  
The Votes...  
  
Fred-"Buffy. You really just piss me off."  
  
Buffy-"Fred...when this is over, I'm gonna pay you a serious visit."  
  
Giles-"Fred...Go home. Just...go home."  
  
Spike-"Fred, you're just too small to be out here. One of us could roll over in our sleep and crush you like a bug. Sorry, ole girl. It's really for your own safety."  
  
Xander-"Fred...if you don't go...I'm just gonna eat you."  
  
________  
  
They returned to their seats and Probst read the votes.  
  
"Winifred, bring up your torch and leave the Council area immediately."  
  
Fred left without looking back.  
  
Xander watched the chicken leave and he saw a spoon above her head dripping with barbeque sauce.  
  
Probst nodded to the four remaining members of the tribe. "Head back to camp. Tomorrow is a new day."  
  
  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Four down...  
  
Dru  
  
Riley  
  
Tara  
  
Fred  
  
The remaining...  
  
  
  
_____  
  
  
  
Rikamuru Tribe  
  
Cordelia  
  
Jonathan  
  
Willow  
  
Angel  
  
Wesley  
  
Anya  
  
  
  
Skrandurak Tribe  
  
Spike  
  
Giles  
  
Xander  
  
Buffy 


	6. Little John Challenge

SURVIVOR  
  
Four have been voted off...  
  
Druscilla. Riley. Tara. Winifred.  
  
Who will be the survivor voted off at the next Tribal Council?  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Tribal Council  
  
"Well, here we are. Day 15." Probst smiled at the five survivors of Rikamura Tribe. "Your tribe is here to vote off another member of your team, but you still have a greater number in your tribe than your opponents."  
  
Wesley looked at him. "You noticed that, too."  
  
"Well, with two new members on your team-Cordelia and Jonathan-I'm wondering how you feel about your new tribesmen?"  
  
"They've been a plus for us," Angel replied casually.  
  
Anya frowned. "Except Cordelia took my stones and tossed them out to sea."  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "I was skipping stones across the water. I didn't know you were collecting them! God! Who collects rocks anyway except maybe people who have rocks in their heads?!"  
  
"Does anyone else want to say something about the new members?" Probst asked.  
  
"Yeah." Willow shot a flare at Jonathan. "You're lucky I can't use my magic here, buck-o, 'cause I'd turn you into something not nice just for voting Tara off...you jerk!"  
  
Jonathan winced. "Well...they told me to vote for her."  
  
"If they told you to jump off a bridge, would you do that, too?"  
  
"Well, yes."  
  
Willow looked at him. "You would?"  
  
"Now, James, why on earth would you jump off a bridge just because they told you to?" Cordelia wanted to know.  
  
Jonathan looked at her. "Well...Corrine, I would do it because there are more of them than there are of me, plus they're bigger and meaner...and if I didn't jump, they'd only throw me off anyway."  
  
Cordelia glared at him. "Corrine? Did you just call me Corrine? Do I even look like a 'Corrine' to you?"  
  
"No, you look like a 'Bitch'," Willow muttered under her breath. "But that really isn't a name parents would give their daughter. Is it?"  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"Look, let's all calm down here," Angel said. "It's been a long three weeks. We're tired. We're irritable. And we have to put up with each other until this is over."  
  
Anya scowled at him. "Oh! So now you're only putting up with us? You've gone whacko since Buffy went to the other tribe. You don't spend any time with us at all!"  
  
"This isn't about Buffy."  
  
"Buffy! Buffy! Buffy!" Cordelia shouted. "God, let's win the next challenge so that she can get voted off! Everywhere I go, Buffy! Buffy! Buffy! It's like a bad song that just keeps playing over and over and over in my head."  
  
"Blah blah blah," Willow said to Cordelia, rolling her eyes. "Your mouth opens a lot, but all that comes out is...blah blah blah."  
  
Cordelia glared.  
  
Probst called for their attention. "Everyone is definitely feeling a lot of stress. Do you all know how you're going to vote?"  
  
"Yes!" They all said in unison.  
  
"Cordelia, you go up first."  
  
___________  
  
  
  
The Votes...  
  
Cordelia-Holds up a card. Willow's name has been crossed off. Jonathan's name is written underneath. -"Sorry, Jonathan. Angel explained some strategic move by having you voted off. Uhm, he also said that I really had to get your name right otherwise the vote wouldn't count. Your name is Jonathan, right? I'm sorry about this. I'd really rather vote out you know who."  
  
***  
  
Angel-"Jonathan. Willow's really mad at you for voting off Tara. It's in your best interest that you leave tonight."  
  
***  
  
Wesley, yawning-"Jonathan...sorry..."  
  
***  
  
Anya-"I would have made my choice tonight by my stones, but somebody took them...Sorry, Jonathan. I have to vote with the tribe."  
  
***  
  
Willow-"Jonathan...when I get to Sunnydale, I have only one word for you. Run."  
  
***  
  
Jonathan-"Cordelia...You can't get my name right. I know you have dark hair, but...you really do act like a blonde. Anya's smarter than you."  
  
________  
  
  
  
They returned to their seats and Probst read the votes. He showed the first card. It had Willow's name crossed out and then Jonathan's name written in. "Jonathan gets the first vote."  
  
Willow glared at Cordelia who was avoiding eye contact.  
  
Probst pulled out the fourth vote. "There's no reason to go any further. The fifth survivor voted off the island...Jonathan." He looked at him. "It's time to go."  
  
Jonathan brought his torch up and Probst put the fire out.  
  
"You must leave the Council area immediately."  
  
Jonathan looked back at the others.  
  
Willow mouthed the word, "Run."  
  
So Jonathan turned, and he ran.  
  
Probst turned to the tribe. "It's time for you to head back. Tomorrow, things are going to get real interesting."  
  
  
  
_________________  
  
  
  
Five down...  
  
Dru Riley Tara Fred Jonathan  
  
The remaining...  
  
Rikamuru Tribe Cordelia Willow Angel Wesley Anya  
  
Skrandurak Tribe Spike Giles Xander Buffy  
  
_______________________  
  
  
  
"Welcome to the new challenge," Probst replied as he looked at each tribe member. The Rikamura Tribe stood off on one side, and the Skrandurak Tribe stood on the other. They were all beside a stream where a narrow bridge with no railings was made above the stream. "Before I tell you what this challenge is, I need a Rikamura tribe member to sit out."  
  
"But...we don't know what the challenge is yet," Cordelia argued. "We could be making the tribe member sit out of this one who can actually win it for us."  
  
"That's part of the challenge," Probst responded. "You could be taking a chance. But that's the way it goes."  
  
Angel looked over at the other tribe. "Buffy, pick a number 1 through 5. Then tell Jeff."  
  
Buffy thought up a number and whispered it to Jeff.  
  
Probst looked at Angel. "I got the number."  
  
Angel mixed the line-up. They had been standing in the order of Angel, Willow, Anya, Wesley, and Cordelia. Now they were standing Anya, Cordelia, Angel, Wesley, and Willow. "Anya, you are number 1 and, Willow, you end at 5." Angel nodded at Probst. "Whatever the number is, that's who sits out."  
  
Probst nodded in agreement. "The number is 2."  
  
Cordelia let out a sigh. "That would be me."  
  
She went off to the side. Probst reached down into the stream and he pulled out two wooden staffs. He handed one to Buffy. Then he handed one to Wesley. "Everyone will get a chance to knock off their opponent from the bridge. This challenge is the Little John Challenge and the tribe member who remains wins immunity for their tribe." He smiled. "Buffy, you and Wesley go up first. Whoever gets knocked into the water sits out. Then the one remaining will let one of their team members on for the next fight. Are you ready?"  
  
Buffy smiled. "Hell, yeah." She walked onto the bridge.  
  
Wesley joined her. "This will be like training you at--"  
  
Buffy swung her staff and knocked his legs out from under him. Wesley fell into the stream.  
  
Buffy walked off the bridge with a smile and handed the staff to Giles. Angel retrieved the staff from a soaking wet Wesley. He met Giles on the bridge and he knocked him off just as easily as Buffy had knocked off Wesley.  
  
Angel smiled at Buffy.  
  
"Oooh, down go the watchers," Buffy commented.  
  
Xander took the staff from Giles and he met Willow on the bridge. He sighed. "Willow...I don't want to hurt you."  
  
Willow smiled sweetly. "Good." Then she hit him between the legs with her staff and then hit him in the side.  
  
Xander fell with a splash.  
  
Willow handed her staff to Anya. "Top that, stony chick."  
  
Anya gave her a look. She went onto the bridge and held her staff as if she didn't know what to do with it. Then she looked up and saw Spike approaching.  
  
"This is gonna be fun," Spike said with a grin.  
  
"Uh...you wouldn't hit a lady, would you?"  
  
"You're also a demon."  
  
"Ex-demon. I'm just a capitalist lady now. So...so play nice."  
  
Spike chuckled. Then he swung the staff at her and she blocked it with hers. The staffs resounded with a loud thwack. Spike tried again and again she blocked him. She twirled her staff and it connected to Spike's fingers. He let go of his staff and howled. That's when she connected the staff to his face and sent him off the bridge.  
  
Anya looked down at him. "Sorry."  
  
She went to join Angel and Willow. The three of them looked at Buffy, who was the only tribe member left standing.  
  
"Yikes," she said. Then she went onto the bridge and faced Angel.  
  
They parried and thrust, and their staffs connected many times, but they both held their ground. Finally, Buffy connected a solid blow to his back and then she swiped his feet out from under him. Angel fell off the bridge.  
  
He got up and he gave the staff to Willow.  
  
Willow went onto the bridge and looked at Buffy. Buffy was ready, but she saw that Willow wasn't doing anything to defend herself.  
  
"C'mon, Will," Buffy said with a playful grin. "Defend yourself."  
  
Willow rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right? Like I can fight you. You might as well just push me over."  
  
"At least try. Don't make this easy on me."  
  
"It is easy on you. You're the Slayer. And I'm...I'm Willow."  
  
Buffy grinned. "Yeah...you're my trusty sidekick."  
  
Willow glared at her. "Huh? I-I am not."  
  
Buffy was baiting her. "Sure you are. My friendly little sidekick. Always in the background. Research girl, slapstick comedian...You know. Sidekick Willow, like Robin."  
  
"W-well...so's your face!!" Willow suddenly swung and Buffy was totally unprepared for it.  
  
First off, Buffy didn't actually think Willow was going to swing. Secondly, she thought she was going to beat Willow without a problem. She was wrong. Willow connected her staff to Buffy's side, and then she swung the staff so that it connected next to Buffy's hands. Buffy let go of her staff and Willow flung it out into the stream. Then she hit Buffy in the other side and made her lose her balance. As Buffy began to wave her arms to try to regain her balance, Willow placed her foot on her butt and pushed.  
  
Buffy fell into the stream.  
  
Willow glared down at her. "How's that for a-a sidekick! You!!"  
  
___________  
  
  
  
Tribal Council  
  
Probst looked at Buffy, Giles, Spike, and Xander.  
  
"Welcome back. It's time to make your vote," he told them. He paused as he regarded the solemn faces. "And since you don't look like you want to talk, let's begin the vote."  
  
_________  
  
Votes-  
  
Giles-"Buffy...you really let me down."  
  
***  
  
Spike, laughing-"Buffy...you should have seen your face when Willow kicked your silly arse. Now there's a kodak moment if I ever bloody saw one."  
  
***  
  
Xander-"Buffy...I guess there's a new Slayer in town, and her name is Willow." He laughed.  
  
***  
  
Buffy-"Xander...I'm sorry, but Willow shouldn't have beaten you..." She sighed. "Well, I guess she shouldn't have beaten me either."  
  
___________  
  
  
  
Probst pulled out the first three votes. "Buffy...you are the sixth survivor voted off the island. It's time to go."  
  
Buffy pouted, brought up her torch and watched Probst extinguish it. She turned to look at her tribe members. "I-I'm sorry."  
  
Giles, Spike, and Xander couldn't help it.  
  
They laughed.  
  
Buffy left and Probst said, "It's just the three of you now. Go on. Head on back to camp."  
  
They laughed all the way back to camp.  
  
_________________________  
  
  
  
Six down...  
  
Dru  
  
Riley  
  
Tara  
  
Fred  
  
Jonathan  
  
Buffy  
  
The remaining...  
  
Rikamuru Tribe  
  
Cordelia  
  
Willow  
  
Angel  
  
Wesley  
  
Anya  
  
Skrandurak Tribe  
  
Spike  
  
Giles  
  
Xander 


	7. Party Time

SURVIVOR  
  
Author: MeB  
  
Email: lenoxfiles@hotmail.com  
  
Spoiler: No major spoiling.  
  
Summary: Don't you want to know what the others are up to since they have been voted off the island?  
  
Disclaimer: All characters of Buffy tVS are the property of Joss. Survivor belongs to Jeff Probst.  
  
Rating - PG-13  
  
xwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwwxwxwxwxwxwxw  
  
  
  
SURVIVOR PARTY AT JEFF PROBST'S BEACH HOUSE  
  
Riley took a drink from his beer and then he said, "You know, I heard that there's a rumor of a Survivor II for the Fan/Fic List."  
  
"No way," Buffy said with a snort. "That would be ridiculous. How can you keep something like that going? I mean, I would get tired of it after awhile." She pouted. "Besides...they voted me off. Wh-what did I do to deserve that?"  
  
"They voted you off because you're the Slayer."  
  
Buffy glared at Dru. "Hey. Didn't I stake you after you got voted off?"  
  
Dru smiled at her and shrugged innocently. "Jeffie said it was all just a part of the show. Besides...we all signed contracts before we came onto the show and that contract protected me from slayage."  
  
"I could stake you here and now."  
  
"You can't, darling little slayer. House rules are no fighting in Jeffies little happy home." She waved a finger at Buffy. "Naughty slayer with her naughty thoughts."  
  
Buffy looked behind Dru and she saw Tara and Fred sitting on the couch and they were talking up a storm. Buffy blinked. Those two did seem to be a little too close for comfort. She found herself wondering what Willow would think about that.  
  
She couldn't believe her eyes as she saw all of the other people attending. People she had known all her life. And people she had known who had either died by her hand or by the hand of her enemies.  
  
She saw Principal Snyder talking with Mayor Wilkins. The Judge was laughing at something that Amy Madison had said. Harmony was talking about the hardships of dating with Jenny Calendar. The Master was discussing slaying tips to Kendra.  
  
There were a lot of many other people in the room. Buffy had been explained that in Survivor, time was irrelevant. It meant nothing. Any one could appear in a Survivor, and that's what started a rumor about a second one.  
  
Still, the whole concept was a bad idea to her. Besides, how could she ever support anything like a Survivor II when she got kicked off the island before Cordelia did. That was just downright depressing her. She wanted chocolate in the worst way.  
  
She noticed Jonathan standing on the deck and decided to go out and join him. "What'cha doing out here, Jonathan?"  
  
"Who's that guy out there on the beach?" Jonathan asked.  
  
Buffy looked. She saw a guy sitting on the beach and he appeared to be crying. She frowned. "I-I don't know. Let's go see if he's okay."  
  
Together, Buffy and Jonathan walked out to the guy on the beach. He had short cropped hair, and a beard, and he wore glasses. Buffy let out a sigh and she put her hands on her hips.  
  
"You again," she said. "What the hell are you writing now? Oh, wait! Don't tell me! Buffy gets into a terrible jam and Willow comes along to save the day!"  
  
Jonathan looked at Buffy. "You know this guy?"  
  
"His name is Meb." She looked at the sobbing man on the beach. "All right, buddy. What's your problem?"  
  
MeB handed her a slip of paper. On the paper was a list of the votes received on the list.  
  
Buffy saw the results of the vote and then she looked at MeB. "You're kidding me, right? You're out here sobbing your eyes out because of this? Because you have to--"  
  
"Sssshtop right there!!"  
  
"Oh, God. Not you, too!"  
  
The man walked up to them. He wore a blue jumpsuit. He had a cable on his left hip and a drill in a holster on his right hip. He spoke with a lisp.  
  
He was standing on the beach and he had his eyes on Buffy. "Thatssh right, Sslayer. It'ss me. I'm back like a bad dream. Like a nassty pimple that won't go away."  
  
"Who are you?" Jonathan asked.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "God! Don't ask him that."  
  
The man stood up tall and straight. "My name iss...Tommy Bradford, and, oh, yeah, ssisster." He nodded his head knowingly. "Eight truly wass enough. But that'ss not the point, iss it?"  
  
"Tommy Bradford?" Jonathan asked. "Who is Tommy Bradford?"  
  
"Who iss Tommy Bradford?" The man looked at Jonathan as if he were a gnat. "Who am I? Why, I'm the Cable Guy, little man. And I have come here to prevent you people from giving away the votess on that piecce of paper." He pointed to what Buffy was holding onto. "Thiss Fan/Fic Lisst jusst doessn't quit with it's sspoilage rate, doess it?"  
  
Buffy sighed. "Oh, please. If anyone on this list reads this crap now, they're going to know who's getting the boot." She pointed at MeB, who was still sobbing as if they weren't there. "I mean, look at him. He's blubbering like a baby, for God's sake. I mean...this guy has gotta be some kind of a loony bird or something! Now there are plenty of people on this list who knows that his favorite is and--"  
  
"And you need to sshut your yapper, lady!!" Bradford pointed at her. "Every time you ssay ssomething, you give ssomething away! Let the man have hiss little wa-wa time, and then he'll get back to it! But you need to back off."  
  
"I so need to kick your ass right about now."  
  
Buffy attacked the Cable Guy.  
  
Jonathan raced back toward the beach house. "Fight, everybody!! There's a fight out here!!"  
  
Everyone came out to watch the fight. They gathered around and they even began to place bets.  
  
"One hundred on the Cable Guy!" Willy shouted. "Place your bets!"  
  
"Two hundred on my daughter!"  
  
"Ooooh, B. Good hit." Grins. "That's exactly where I like to hit them."  
  
"Luke, put three hundred down for the Slayer. After all, I can beat this Cable Guy...and we do know that she beat me."  
  
"I was so bored...Not bored now." Vamp Willow turned and saw Tara. "Hey...you're kinda cute."  
  
Tara blushes. She follows Vamp Willow into the house and they forget about the fight.  
  
"It'ss a revolution!!" the Cable Guy shouts as he tackles Buffy onto the ground. "The dark forcces are colliding with the light, and the dark will be extinguisshed oncce and for--"  
  
Buffy slammed him in the chest with an elbow. Then she spun around and slammed her fist into his face.  
  
"Oh, you'll be sorry you did that, little girl." Suddenly, his eyes widen. He starts to grin as he touches his jaw. "My lisp!! It's gone!!" He smiles at Buffy. "You cured me!"  
  
Buffy punched him again.  
  
As the Cable Guy fell into the dirt, he said, "Oh, you really are a bitcch...aren't you?" He lost all consciousness.  
  
Buffy dusted her hands off and then she went over to MeB. "Just do what you have to do." She looked at him sternly. "And I'm still waiting for you to write my story!"  
  
MeB got up and he walked out into the sea.  
  
_________________________  
  
Six down...  
  
Dru Riley Tara Fred Jonathan Buffy  
  
The remaining...  
  
Rikamuru Tribe Cordelia Willow Angel Wesley Anya  
  
Skrandurak Tribe Spike Giles Xander 


	8. The GilsumRoshar Tribe

SURVIVOR  
  
Six have been voted off...  
  
Druscilla. Riley. Tara. Winifred. Jonathan. Buffy.  
  
Who will be the next survivor voted off at the next Tribal Council?  
  
_________________  
  
Tribal Council  
  
"We lost because I got everyone of those questions wrong, Jeff. I-I know you explained the whole tribal ancestry, and I know that everything you said in that tale was in the questions written in the maze." Wesley let out a weary sigh and he shrugged. "What can I say? I-I don't know what went wrong."  
  
Jeff looked at him. "You take the first vote."  
  
***  
  
Wesley-"Willow...I have to vote for you, well...I just would have been grateful if you would have at least woken me up for that little tribal tale. I'm really good with detail, but not if I'm asleep."  
  
Cordelia-"Wesley, if you snooze then you don't win anything. You are always asleep anyway, and it really is disgusting. You snore. You drool...And has anyone noticed the way Willow's been looking at me lately? What's up with that?"  
  
Anya-"Wesley...sorry. If I had my rocks, I think they would have picked someone else, but...I had to do Eany, Meany, Miny Moe...and you were the tiger I got by the toe. Sorry."  
  
Angel-"Wes. Go home. Take a long nap. And read up on ancient tribal lore, will you? Not that it will do any good now."  
  
Willow-"Wesley..." Closes her eyes. Tries to calm the shaking. "God, there's...there's something wrong with me. I-I'm voting you off because you are s-sleeping next to Cordelia...And if you get voted off, I can take your spot." Pauses. "I-I think it has to be the heat. Yep. It's the heat, 'cause I'm thinking she's hot...I mean...Ohmigod."  
  
***  
  
Jeff took the votes and read them off one by one. Willow couldn't make herself look at Cordelia.  
  
"Wesley...you're the seventh survivor to be..." Jeff looked at the tribe members. "Uhm, Angel? Can you wake Wesley up?"  
  
Angel gave Wesley such a shove that Wesley woke up lying face first into the dirt. He struggled to his feet, stretched, and yawned. Then he blinked.  
  
"Did I miss something?" he asked.  
  
"Wesley, you have to leave the Tribal Council immediately," Jeff told him.  
  
Wesley sighed. "It's about damn time. You know, I never expected to make it this far."  
  
He left the area.  
  
That left Jeff looking at the other four remaining members. Angel, Cordelia, Willow, and Anya.  
  
Jeff smiled. "Okay. This is where things get a little different." He motioned for the others to join them.  
  
Spike, Giles, and Xander joined them.  
  
Everyone looked at each other. Willow wanted to get up and hug Xander because if she hugged him she wouldn't be thinking about hugging Cordelia. What was wrong with her?  
  
Xander looked at Willow and he saw bbq chicken. Gosh, Cordy looked like that, too. And, okay, it's not very funny that Angel and Spike look like steaks. That's just not right.  
  
"Rikamura Tribe and Skrandurak," Jeff began, "you are now officially one tribe." He clapped his hands. A catering service brought out trays of food and drink. "Tonight, you will dine and you will get to know your new tribe members. And you will come up with a new name for your tribe. Also, any member voted off after today will sit and judge the final two members."  
  
"Hey, how about the Scoobies?" Xander suggested.  
  
"For our new name?" Angel inquired.  
  
Xander shook his head. "No, man. I mean those Scooby Moon Pies on the table. I got dibs on those."  
  
They broke bread, drank, and were merry. Willow planted herself next to Xander and she refused to look in Cordelia's direction. She and Xander began to drop food into each others mouths.  
  
Spike was thinking to himself as he ate in silence.  
  
After plenty of food had been consumed, they all sat around the fire and talked about a new name. They tossed out ideals and they discarded them like that. Too simple. Too hard. Too dumb. Too unpronounceable. Too as if, yeah, right, whatever!  
  
Spike remained quiet.  
  
The other members laughed and joked and they just had a great time. Willow saw next to Xander and she had her arm around his. She had forgotten about Cordelia. At least she hoped she did.  
  
But it occurred to her that Spike had not mentioned any names for their tribe. "Spike, do you have any ideas for a name?" she asked.  
  
All eyes turned to Spike.  
  
He hesitated. "Yeah. I got one."  
  
"What is it?" Angel asked.  
  
Spike paused. Then he took a deep breath. "Gilsum-Roshar."  
  
Everyone stared at him.  
  
Cordelia frowned. "Huh?"  
  
Anya shook her head. "How do you say that again? Jillsums-Rossaine?"  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. "Gilsum-Roshar! It's really not that hard, you know. You say their names every bloody day, you should be able to say them together."  
  
Angel looked at him. "We say their names every day?"  
  
"Yes. Well...not their last names...But if you ask me, it's because of them that we got to where we are today." He looked at Angel. "They made us what we are, Angel. They came into out lives and they changed us."  
  
Angel paused. "Gilsum-Roshar." His eyes widened in understanding. "Giles, Summers, Rosenberg, and Harris! Gilsum-Roshar!" He smiled. "I'm impressed!"  
  
"S-so am I," Giles stammered, looking at Spike closely. "You want to name the tribe after us?" He indicated himself, Willow, and Xander. "A-and Buffy?"  
  
Spike shrugged. "You were the ones who started the whole thing. It's only right."  
  
Anya nodded. "I-I like it. It's nice...even if I can't really say it."  
  
Angel smiled. "Sounds good to me."  
  
They all put their hands together. "Gilsum-Roshar Tribe!"  
  
___________  
  
  
  
The next day, they had a reward challenge. They had to swim out and carry a rock back to shore. Angel won the reward challenge. His reward was that he was taken to a cruise ship where Jeff showed him to his room. Angel showered, he changed into a tux and he went to the dining lounge on the main deck to order a meal.  
  
He received a surprise when he got there.  
  
There was a lady in a gorgeous dress sitting at his table waiting for him.  
  
"Buffy?" He stared.  
  
She smiled at him. "You look handsome in that tux, Angel." A playful smile tugged at her lips. "Well...you look handsome out of it, too."  
  
He joined her at the table.  
  
Jeff appeared at their side with menus. He gave them each one.  
  
"You're our waiter?" Angel asked.  
  
Jeff nodded. "Yes, I am. I'm here to get you anything you desire."  
  
Angel and Buffy looked into each other's eyes. They had a desire, all right. And it had nothing to do with food. But they couldn't do that, now could they? The last time they did that, it was disastrous.  
  
Jeff smiled because he seemed to know what they were thinking. "Did I ever mention that whenever participating as a Survivor, curses are null and void, and therefore, they simply have no affect on any of the contestants?"  
  
Angel raised his eyebrows. "Really?"  
  
Buffy smiled. "I love this Survivor thing!"  
  
"Would you like to order from our room?" he asked.  
  
She looked at him with a deep longing. "I really don't think we're going to have time for that once we're behind closed doors." She looked at Jeff. "Uhm...does this reward cover for room damage, 'cause, well...we do move around a lot." She grinned nervously. "You know, when we move around a lot, and do things...private things."  
  
Jeff chuckled. "It's all covered."  
  
Angel and Buffy took each other by the hand and they headed back to Angel's room. They made passionate love all night long.  
  
________________  
  
He laid on his back and took several deep breaths. "Ohmigod! You are really incredible!!"  
  
She purred as she laid her head on his chest and snuggled up against him. "There's a lot more where that came from, let me tell you, mister."  
  
"God, we should have done this a long time ago."  
  
"Oh, it wasn't for a lack of trying on my part, let me tell ya!" She nibbled on his ear. "I'm soooo horny!"  
  
"Oooocheeemama!" _______________  
  
Angel came back to the new camp and he was positively smiling. He smiled so much it hurt. But he couldn't help it. He just kept on smiling. He greeted everybody.  
  
"Hello, Giles...Anya...Spike...Cordy..." He stopped. "Where are Xander and-- "  
  
Crash. Thud.  
  
They all turned around, and Willow and Xander had stumbled out from the cover of the bushes they had been behind.  
  
"Ohmigod!" Cordelia shrieked. "Where are your clothes!!"  
  
_______________________  
  
"This vote tonight will change everything," Jeff explained at Tribal Council. "Whoever you vote off tonight will be the first to sit in the jury section, and when we arrive at the end, the jury will judge the last two survivors. Is everybody ready?"  
  
Everyone nodded.  
  
"This was a tough challenge on all of you, but Xander stood on the pole longer than anyone and he won immunity. Xander, you are up to vote first."  
  
***  
  
Xander-"Sorry, Will. I really am. But the last two nights, you got really rough, and now Anya's throwing stones at me."  
  
Spike-"Willow...you know, I don't mind that rough stuff. Why didn't you come to me in your delusional state of distress? I would have bloody helped you."  
  
Giles-"Willow, you are a very bad girl."  
  
Angel-"Willow..." He laughs.  
  
Cordelia-"Willow...eeeeuih."  
  
Anya-"Willow Rosenberg, you and I will have us a few words about this. And besides, I know it was you who changed all of my stones to the same color."  
  
Willow-"Cordy...you have to leave, 'cause you are driving me crazy. A-and that's just not natural. B-but that's why I attacked Xander." Smiles. "I- I could sure get used to that."  
  
***  
  
Jeff read the votes.  
  
"Willow, you are the eighth survivor to be voted from the island. Please leave the Tribal Council immediately."  
  
Willow nodded. "Oh...okay." She smiled at Xander. "But at least I'll be back."  
  
The tribe members watched her go.  
  
Jeff smiled at them. "The game has now changed. Head back to camp and prepare yourself for what lays ahead."  
  
The Gilsum-Roshar Tribe headed back for camp.  
  
_________________________  
  
  
  
Eight down...  
  
Dru  
  
Riley  
  
Tara  
  
Fred  
  
Jonathan  
  
Buffy  
  
Wesley  
  
Willow *boo-hoo, sniff*  
  
_____  
  
  
  
The remaining...  
  
Gilsum-Roshar Tribe  
  
Cordelia  
  
Angel  
  
Anya  
  
Spike  
  
Giles  
  
Xander 


	9. Totem

SURVIVOR  
  
Eight have been voted off...  
  
Dru Riley Tara Fred Jonathan Buffy Wesley Willow  
  
One has been added to the Jury.. Willow  
  
Who will be the next survivor voted off the island?  
  
___________________  
  
  
  
This is what remains of the new Gilsum-Roshar Tribe...  
  
Cordelia Angel Anya Spike Giles Xander  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
Angel, Anya, Cordelia, Giles, Spike, and Xander each stood in a line. At a brief distance before them was a totem figure. Above the figure were large barrels that held inside sand. There were six spots on the barrel that were weak, and if they could hit those spots, they could begin to cover the totem figures. Each figure had a name written on it of one of the remaining tribe members.  
  
The goal was simple.  
  
Bury your opponents totem before they buried yours.  
  
"You each get one shot at the totem before you," Jeff explained to them. "After you take your shot, the line moves forward and the first person becomes the last. If you find yourself standing before your totem, aim for the one on the right or left...or if you are good at slingshots, go for the one you want."  
  
Spike looked at him hopefully. "Can I go after the one I want to take out anyway?"  
  
"It's your call. Do you have someone in mind?"  
  
"Well...that would be telling, wouldn't it?" Spike grinned an evil grin.  
  
Angel looked at him. "Who are you after, Spike?"  
  
Spike returned the look. "Who are you after?"  
  
"Are you challenging me?"  
  
"Oh, puhlease. A challenge? You?" He grinned in spite of himself.  
  
Angel did, too. "You're gone, son."  
  
"Whatever you say, pops."  
  
"Are the tribe members ready?" Jeff asked.  
  
Cordelia glanced at her nails and let out a weary sigh. "Oh, well...they're already chipped and torn anyway. Let's do this."  
  
Jeff raised his arm. "Take up your slingshots..." He lowered his arm. "And fire away!"  
  
Spike fired and hit the top of Angels barrel. Sand poured out and began to bury the totem, but the head still remained.  
  
"Punk kid!" Angel scolded and fired at Spike's. He also hit the top of the barrel and poured some sand on Spike's totem.  
  
Xander laughed. "Ha! Buy-buy, Spikey!" He fired at Spike's barrel and he over shot. The stone struck the next barrel over and sand began to pour over a totem. It was his own.  
  
Angel, and Spike both laughed.  
  
Anya showed a pout face to Xander. "Aww..." Then she looked at the barrel and smiled. "This is because of you and Willow doing the wild thing!" She fired.  
  
The stone hit the barrel and sand completely engulfed Xander's totem.  
  
"But...but-but," Xander tried to say.  
  
"Xander, you're out of there," Jeff called to him.  
  
Spike did a wave. "Buy-buy, Alex."  
  
Xander pointed at him, but he didn't say anything.  
  
Cordelia missed Spike's barrel.  
  
They moved on.  
  
Spike took out Angel, and Angel missed on his last shot. Angel joined Xander on the sidelines.  
  
Xander leaned toward Angel and he pointed at Spike. "Blanket party...that guy...tonight!"  
  
Angel laughed.  
  
"Who's next?" Spike challenged.  
  
Cordelia shook her head. "You're going down, mister!"  
  
Anya fired and hit Cordelia's.  
  
"Hey!!" Cordelia fired...and missed again. "This thingy is broken!"  
  
Giles grinned. "S-so's your aim." He fired and finished off Cordelia.  
  
Cordelia joined the sidelines with Angel and Xander. They told her about the blanket party.  
  
"Blanket party?" Cordelia inquired with a frown. "What's that? I mean, does everybody bring their own blankets and exchange them...or what?"  
  
Angel and Xander looked at each other. They laughed.  
  
Giles and Spike looked at each other. Then they looked at Anya. They grinned. And they fired simultaneously. Together, they took out Anya's totem.  
  
"If I was still a vengeance demon," she told them, "I know two men I would put at the top of my list." She joined the others on the sidelines and they asked her about the blanket party. "Oh, that would be nice. I went to a carpet party once and every one exchanged carpets. That was in India and my carpet didn't fly very well."  
  
Angel, Xander, and Cordelia just looked at her.  
  
Giles and Spike took their shots. The end result was that Giles was not as good as Spike was...or lucky. Spike took out his totem and won the immunity.  
  
_______________________  
  
  
  
Tribal Council  
  
"This is the Gilsum-Roshar tribe's first Council meeting," Jeff began as he stood at the podium. "Before we begin, we'll be joined by the first member of the jury. Remember, you are not to speak with her, nor she with you. She is here to observe the Tribal Council."  
  
Everyone looked.  
  
And Willow appeared wearing a gorgeous blue dress, and her hair, her eyes, her walk...everything matched the dress. Spike, Angel, Giles, and Xander stared at Willow as if they had never seen a woman before. Their mouths were hanging open. Their eyes couldn't look away from Willow as she walked toward the jury's seats. She smiled at them.  
  
Even Jeff Probst found himself staring.  
  
Willow sat down and she looked at the survivors.  
  
No one moved.  
  
Anya and Cordelia looked at each other. Then Cordelia turned to Jeff. "Hellooo. Isn't there something you should be doing?"  
  
Jeff blinked. "Huh?" Then he regained his composure. He cleared his throat. "Uhm...On to the votes."  
  
"Onto the votes?" Anya asked. "What about our pre-vote discussion? I felt ganged up on that last challenge."  
  
"That's because you were," Cordelia told her.  
  
Jeff looked at the tribe. "Spike...how did you feel about winning the immunity necklace?"  
  
Spike was staring at Willow.  
  
Angel waved a hand in front of his face.  
  
Spike blinked. "Huh? Oh...right. The necklace." He sat up. "I feel great."  
  
"Do you think you needed it?"  
  
Spike thought about it. "Well, Jeff...that's really hard to say. I mean, I admit when this whole thing started, I thought I was going to be the first one off...or at least bloody voted off after Dru. But I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did. Either way now, I am going to be in the jury and all this necklace does for me now is it gives me another chance to stay longer."  
  
"Would you like to be in the final four?"  
  
"The final four? Are you daft? How about the final one?" He snorted. "I want to be the sole survivor, you git. That's what I'm here for."  
  
"What about you others? How do you feel about losing immunity?"  
  
"Well, duh," Cordelia said. "We like it...Not!"  
  
Anya frowned. "Spike cheated."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. "I bloody did not!"  
  
"Well...you were better than we were."  
  
"Actually, I was better than you. Xander was unlucky, and so was Giles. I know he's a lot better shot than he showed. And Angel, too. The rest of you were just plain bad."  
  
Cordelia frowned. "I wasn't bad."  
  
Xander chuckled. "Cordy...you missed everything you were aiming at."  
  
"Does any of you feel as if you're in trouble tonight?" Jeff asked. "Do you feel like this could be the night you get the vote?"  
  
Anya and Cordelia nodded.  
  
"Do any of you have any special alliances?"  
  
Giles shook his head. "Not particularly, b-but some of us did have a deep and meaningful discussion this morning as to...as to who sh-should be voted off."  
  
Anya looked at him. "Uhm...there was a discussion this morning?" She swallowed. "Where was I?" she asked meekly.  
  
No one looked at her.  
  
"Spike," Jeff said, "you have immunity. The first vote is yours."  
  
***  
  
Spike-"Anya, to repeat what Xander said at the challenge..." He waved. "Buy- buy." Then he laughed.  
  
Giles-"Anya, p-please don't take this to heart, but...it's time for you to go."  
  
Angel-"Anya, you snooze, you loose."  
  
***  
  
Jeff tallied the votes.  
  
"Anya, please bring your torch." He put out the fire. "You must leave the Tribal Council immediately."  
  
Anya pouted and she left.  
  
Jeff nodded to the others. "It's time for you to head back to camp."  
  
As the tribe was leaving, Jeff hesitantly approached Willow and cleared his throat. "Uhm...Willow...would you like to join me for dinner?"  
  
She smiled up at him and put her arm through his. "I'd love to."  
  
They walked off together. "I'm putting together some ideas for Survivor II with Meb...I'd like to throw them around at you, and see what you think."  
  
______________________  
  
  
  
The remaining tribe members...  
  
Angel Cordelia Giles Spike Xander 


	10. Immunity

SURVIVOR  
  
Nine have been voted off...  
  
Dru Riley Tara Fred Jonathan Buffy Wesley Willow Anya  
  
Two have been added to the Jury.. Willow Anya  
  
Who will be the next survivor voted off the island?  
  
___________________  
  
  
  
This is what remains of the new Gilsum-Roshar Tribe...  
  
Cordelia Angel Spike Giles Xander  
  
  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
"I've had it with this place. It's filthy. It stinks. The food stinks. There isn't a beauty salon within one thousand miles...And I'm surrounded by men who smell worst than I do." Cordelia cried out to the heavens. "Ohmigod!!! I smell bad!! I want a bath. I want a shower. I want a steam bath! And I want it right now!"  
  
Xander let out a sigh and shook his head. He pointed out to sea. "Cordy, just go for a long swim. A very long swim."  
  
"Don't come back without some food," Angel told her. "If you dive in between those boulders we were at yesterday, there's bound to be a whole lot of crabs and grubs."  
  
Cordelia glared at him. "Ewww! I've had it with that stuff! I'm not fishing for it!"  
  
"It is food," Spike told her. "Even for us blood suckers. Nice and tasty. Plenty of nutrition." He grinned. "Especially if you eat them raw, that is."  
  
"You are disgusting!"  
  
"Would you like to come at me swinging, luv? You look like you have a lot of energy you want to burn."  
  
"And you are a revolting pervert!"  
  
Giles stayed near the fire as he prepared a meager lunch with what grubs, crabs, and...whatever the hell those eighteen legged creatures were. Xander told him they tasted like chicken.  
  
They didn't really, but it helped if the illusion was there.  
  
Giles did wish they would all just shut up. Bicker, bicker, bicker. Or as Willow would say...blah, blah, blah. He thought of Willow just then, surprising the hell out of Buffy and beating her in the Big John of Sherwood Forrest challenge. He remembered the startled look on Buffy's face and he started to laugh.  
  
The others looked at him as if he were insane.  
  
And perhaps he was. After all, they were all tired and every one of them was either ready to explode or burst into tears...or even laughter. Like Giles.  
  
"What the hell is so bloody funny?" Spike wanted to know.  
  
Giles couldn't talk. He sat down on the ground and laughed harder, tears coming into his eyes.  
  
Angel regarded him. "Giles, what is it?"  
  
Finally, Giles managed to tell them what he was laughing at. Xander saw the scene in his mind, and he joined in on the laughter. So did Spike and Angel. But Cordelia didn't.  
  
She began to cry.  
  
When the others realized that she was crying, they stopped laughing and turned to her with concern.  
  
"Cordy, what's wrong?" Xander asked with genuine concern.  
  
She showed him her fingernails. "I-I broke a nail, Xander."  
  
He looked at her. Then he burst out laughing again, and the others joined him.  
  
_______________________  
  
  
  
TRIBAL COUNCIL  
  
Jeff Probst looked at the faces on the remaining tribe members as they entered the Tribal Council. They stood up their torches and then they toolk their seats. Across from them, Willow and Anya entered the Council and without a word, they took their seats. The men were once again staring, but not just at Willow. They were also staring at Anya.  
  
Both girls were extremely hot. So hot that Spike was mesmerized by their beauty, Angel couldn't look away, and Xander was drooling. Probst had a bit more control of himself than last time, but he couldn't help but sneak a peek or two in the ladies general direction.  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes.  
  
Probst cleared his throat. "Giles, you won the immunity in our last challenge. Do you feel as if you really needed it tonight?"  
  
Giles paused. "A-actually, Jeff...no. I believe that I can say in all confidence that I do not require the immunity tonight. Without it, I would still not receive a vote."  
  
"Are you that confident?"  
  
"Oh, no. Not about the next votes. Just tonight's vote."  
  
"Spike, would you say that Giles is purely boasting or is it true that he is safe from being voted off, even if he did not have immunity?"  
  
Spike nodded. "Oh, I'd say he's safe either way."  
  
Probst was curious. "Xander?"  
  
Xander gave him a thumbs' up. "We wouldn't vote off Giles tonight."  
  
"Even if he didn't have immunity?"  
  
"Especially then."  
  
Probst regarded them. "Then you've thought this out." He looked at Angel, certain that the vampire with a soul would agree. He turned to Cordelia. "How do you feel about this?"  
  
Cordelia sighed. "I would vote for Giles."  
  
"But he has immunity."  
  
"Well, duh! Then I can't vote for him."  
  
"Cordelia, do you feel that your chances for getting the vote tonight are good?"  
  
Cordelia glared at him. "No, Jeff. They're bad. They're bad because I'm going to get the vote tonight. Are you brain dead?" She pointed at Willow and Anya. "They want me to be up there with them so that the next time they come to Tribal Council, there will be three beautiful women up there and not two."  
  
Probst looked at her closely.  
  
Cordelia almost cried. "Underneath all of this dirt and grime, Jeff, there is a woman in here who is dying to get out. You'll see."  
  
"Okay...Let's vote then."  
  
Angel cleared his throat. "Uhm...Jeff...do we really need to write out our votes tonight? How about a showing of hands? We know the outcome already."  
  
"Men!" Cordelia exclaimed.  
  
Probst shook his head. "I'm sorry, Angel. But we have to do it this way. This is Tribal Council. Giles...you're up."  
  
***  
  
Cordelia-"Xander...you laughed at me when I broke a nail...and that really hurt my feelings. Well...you all laughed at me, but I can't vote for all of you and Giles does have immunity. I hope you all lose."  
  
Angel-"Cordelia, when you sit up there for the next Tribal Council with Willow and Anya...could you please wear that dress you wore at the ball last month? The black dress with the bare back, the slit all the way up your thighs and the...well...you know. I know we'd all appreciate it. Thanks."  
  
***  
  
Probst took the votes and he read them off. "Cordelia...you're the next member of the Gilsum-Roshar Tribe to be voted off. Please bring your torch. You have to leave the Tribal Council immediately."  
  
Cordelia sniffed and she left the area.  
  
Xander, Giles, Spike, and Angel watched her go and they couldn't wait to see the next Council where there would be three women to gawk at instead of two.  
  
  
  
______________________  
  
  
  
The remaining tribe members...  
  
Angel Giles Spike Xander 


	11. Slip Sliding In Mud

SURVIVOR  
  
Ten have been voted off...  
  
Dru Riley Tara Fred Jonathan Buffy Wesley Willow Anya Cordelia  
  
Three has been added to the Jury.. Willow Anya Cordelia  
  
Who will be the next survivor voted off the island?  
  
___________________  
  
  
  
This is what remains of the new Gilsum-Roshar Tribe...  
  
Angel Spike Giles Xander  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
The four men who remained on the island were exhausted. They were hungry. And their nerves were practically shot. All they really had to look forward to was the end of this Survivor show and then they could go back to their lives. At any rate, there was something they did have to look forward to and that was Tribal Council. Three gorgeous women would be in the Jury, all cleaned up after their time on the island.  
  
The men drooled just thinking about Willow, Anya, and Cordelia.  
  
They were men. And they were exhausted, so any fantasy they played over and over and over again in their minds truly helped pass the time.  
  
But when they weren't thinking about the women, they were focusing on daily living. Whether that was preparing the food or fixing a lean-to, or fishing...or as of lately...yelling at each other.  
  
"You did, too, bleach blonde! I saw you as plain as day! Your denying it doesn't make you innocent!"  
  
Spike made a face at Xander. "You've got bloody issues. Serious ones if you think I was giving you the eye."  
  
Xander pointed at him. "You did, too! You were looking at my neck and you were kicking your chops!" He suddenly shuddered. "Eww. There goes a thought that I didn't want to think!"  
  
"I wasn't looking at your neck."  
  
Angel came to Spike's defense. "He wasn't, Xander. Besides, you're nothing but a toothpick. You wouldn't even be satisfying."  
  
Xander shuddered again. "Both of you were looking at my neck!" He stared at them in horror. "Giles! Help! They're going to take turns at me!"  
  
Giles was so tired, he simply fell on the ground laughing.  
  
  
  
___________  
  
  
  
Tribal Council  
  
Jeff Probst stood at the podium.  
  
Angel, Giles, Spike, and Xander sat in their places, but their eyes were focused on the women as they came into Tribal Council. There were Willow, Anya, and Cordelia. God, Cordelia had been right, Probst thought to himself. There was a woman under all that grime and dirt.  
  
He blinked and cleared his throat.  
  
The four survivors were still staring.  
  
Probst cleared his throat again.  
  
The men came out of their stares, and Xander wiped drool from his mouth. He also rubbed his neck to make sure there weren't any teeth marks. He looked at Angel and Spike suspiciously.  
  
"Spike," Probst began.  
  
Spike turned to him. "You git."  
  
Probst paused. "Well, we see that you have the immunity necklace."  
  
"That's obvious." He held up the necklace. "Yep. This bloody thing is mine. I won it because I'm a lot faster than the others were. That challenge was nothing, Jeffie. Racing through the woods, starting a fire, then sliding through some mud to get to the Idol first was hardly a challenge." He pointed at him. "You're slipping."  
  
Probst thought about that. "Well...I'll make the next challenge interesting then. How do you feel about the Hands on the Idol challenge, Xander."  
  
Xander snorted. "It sucked!"  
  
"Angel?"  
  
Angel let out a sigh. "I had a problem with the mud part."  
  
Probst looked at him. "What was the problem?"  
  
"The mud." Angel shrugged. "I couldn't stand up. I just kept falling down."  
  
Giles began to laugh again. He couldn't stop.  
  
Probst pointed to Spike. "You're up for the first vote."  
  
***  
  
Angel-"Xander...that 'Quit looking at my neck!' thing is getting real old, real fast."  
  
Giles held up his card with Xander's name on it. He laughed.  
  
***  
  
Probst took the votes. "Xander Harris, you are asked to leave the Tribal Council immediately. You are the eleventh Survivor voted off the island."  
  
Xander brought up his torch and he left the Tribal Council.  
  
Angel, Spike, and Giles suddenly realized that Xander was going to be sitting in the jury with three beautiful women.  
  
______________________  
  
  
  
The remaining tribe members...  
  
Angel Giles Spike 


	12. The New Project

The New Project  
  
Author: MeB (aka XanWill4Ever)  
  
Spoiler: No major spoiling.  
  
Summary: A major operation is about to unfold unlike any other before.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters of Buffy tVS are the property of Joss. The other characters aren't mine, either...but I enjoy playing with them. Characters from Jurassic Park, and Jurassic Park are not mine.  
  
Rating - PG-13 Strong Language  
  
xwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwx  
  
The Conference Room was huge with a big table that could seat fifty people. At the moment, there were only four men in the room. One man wearing glasses, sporting a beard and short brown hair was sitting at the table drinking coffee. His name was MeB. Meb was also jotting things down into a notebook.  
  
Three men were standing along a wall where the wall contained television sets for viewing the New Project. On one of the tv sets, there was a view of an island somewhere out in the deep.  
  
This island was the topic of a very heated discussion.  
  
"No, no, no! You don't seem to understand that what you are proposing to do, Mr. Probst, should be against the law and, therefore, you should be thrown into the deepest, darkest prison known to mankind just for coming up with a crazy proposition like this." The man shook his head. "I swear to Christ, I don't know where you people come from but you send anyone to this island for Survivor II, you might as well dig them up graves to bury them in when they return." Suddenly, he waved an irritated hand in the air. "No! Scratch that. You won't be able to dig up any goddamn graves because there won't be any bodies. There-there are never any bodies. That's because the bodies are completely devoured. Swallowed up. Gone." He snapped his fingers. "Just like that." He pointed at Probst. "But you don't care about that, do you? All you and Dr. Hammond here want is that- that goddamn all mighty dollar. It's merchandising and-and what new products you can sell...but's it's never really about the people who's lives you put in danger. Is it?"  
  
"I think you're over-reacting, Mr. Goldblum," Jeff Probst told him.  
  
The man scowled. "No. No, Mr. Probst. I am not over-reacting. And my name isn't Goldblum. It's Malcolm. Ian Malcolm. And this whole thing is a gigantic mess. You're going to send 18 new survivors to this island, and guess what? None of them will survive."  
  
"Ian, please!" the third man protested. He was older and he was using a cane to lean against.  
  
Malcolm took a deep breath and looked at him. "How could you allow this, John? This is nuts! This is plain psycho-academy winning stuff that you're dealing with here." He pointed at the island on the tv. "Stop sending people to this place! Haven't you learned anything from the last three times?"  
  
Probst shook his head. "There's no danger--"  
  
Malcolm held up a hand. "Oh. Here it comes. How many times have I heard this? 'There's no danger.' 'The animals stay in their own territory.' And my personal favorite, 'We're only going to take a look.' And all of that leads up to the running, the screaming, and then the getting swallowed by Mr. T-Rex, or Mr. T-Rex' neighbors, the Raptors. Yes, Mr. Probst. It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye while the rest of him gets swallowed up whole." He looked Probst in the eye. "This idea of yours is the worst idea in a very long, sad history of bad ideas. And I'm going to be there when you learn that."  
  
"Look, the people going to this island are not your typical people. They're different."  
  
"Like how different? 'Superman' different? Because unless you're built like the man of steel, anyone going to Isla Nublar is going to be eaten."  
  
Dr. John Hammond squeezed Malcolm's arm reassuringly. "Ian, my boy. You really need to stop fussing at Jeff. He knows what he's doing."  
  
Malcolm shook his head. "Oh, they all know what they're doing. Yes, John. I know." He looked at Probst. "Who are the poor suckers you've conned to go to this island for your Survivor II?"  
  
"Some are due to arrive at any minute," Probst told him. "We're still looking for some others. We need twelve more."  
  
"How soon do you need them?"  
  
"No later than the first week of September."  
  
Malcolm nodded. "So they have that long to spend the rest of their lives."  
  
Probst shook his head. "They're not going to die. We have skilled hunters in place to keep the serious trouble at bay."  
  
"Oh, you don't know serious trouble." He pointed at MeB who hasn't said a word. "What's his story?"  
  
Probst glanced over at MeB. "He's coordinating everything."  
  
"So he's behind the madness, too."  
  
At that moment, the door opened and a guide led in a young girl who entered shyly. After the young girl was in the room, the guide closed the door.  
  
Malcolm looked at the girl with long red hair and green eyes and he then looked at Probst. "What is that sweet, innocent kid doing here?"  
  
"That is Willow Rosenberg." Probst smiled at the young girl. "Hi, Willow. We're glad you could make it."  
  
"Uh, thanks," Willow said with hesitation as she looked around. "A-am I really going to be on Survivor? Uh, there w-won't be any spiders, will there?"  
  
Malcolm let out a sigh. "Oh, don't you worry about spiders. Where you're going, spiders won't be a problem."  
  
Willow looked at him warily. "Oh."  
  
Probst waved her to the table. "Please, take a seat."  
  
Willow smiled and she took a seat beside MeB.  
  
MeB looked at her. He thought, Ohmigod, she sat next to me!  
  
"Willow..." Malcolm looked at Probst. "Willow is special, how? What powers does this little girl have to help her on the island?"  
  
Probst regarded him. "She's smart. She's a computer genius. This Willow is from Season One of Buffy the Vampire Slayer."  
  
Willow heard that. "Uh, I-I'm from what?"  
  
Probst smiled. "Well, you see, there is a network that exists in a different realm of existence, Willow. Some of the shows that are popular there is Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, and the new Survivor. What you go through in life with Buffy Summers and the rest of your friends is actually a big hit on the network I referred to."  
  
"Y-you mean...I'm on TV in this other realm, like-like Alyson Hannigan is on TV here?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Uh, if-if I'm on Survivor, who's going with me?"  
  
As if on que, the door opened, and in walked Faith. She took one look at Willow and stopped. "Whoa. What happened to you, Red?" She looked Willow over. "Long hair. You seem younger than when I tried to kill you. Damn, girl. Are you messing with anti-aging magic's?" She smiled. "Share, girlfriend."  
  
Willow looked at Faith with a puzzled look on her face. "Uh, do I know you?"  
  
Now Faith looked puzzled. "You...you don't know who I am?"  
  
"Y-you tried to kill me?"  
  
Probst called their attention. "Ladies. If you please...we have more guests."  
  
Willow and Faith looked to see who had just entered the Conference Room. Faith stared in wide-eyed wonder and then she ran and tackled a tall man who had just walked in. She tackled him so hard, they almost fell.  
  
But the ex-Mayor of Sunnydale, Richard Wilkins, simply laughed and wrapped his arms around Faith. "There's my girl!" he exclaimed. "Oh, it is good to see you again, Faith."  
  
Faith bounced on her feet as she looked up at Wilkins. "I...I can't fucking believe this!"  
  
"Now, Faith..." Wilkins shook his head at her, but there was a touch of an affectionate smile on his face for her. "You know how I am about such language. And from a lady like yourself. Tsk, tsk."  
  
Faith actually blushed. "Sorry. Old habits kind of die hard."  
  
"People are like old habits," growled a voice from behind them. "They should die. And if they don't, I'll kill them."  
  
Everyone turned to look.  
  
It was Angelus. Not Angel. But Angelus. He was with a woman who had met him in the hall. That woman was none other than Lilah Morgan. This was the side of Angel she wanted for the Firm she worked for. But that was another story.  
  
"Everyone take a seat." Probst pointed at Angelus. "And need I remind you that you are all under a truce while here and while on the island. This truce cannot be broken."  
  
Angelus looked over at Willow. "Damn. You really know how to spoil my fun. I'm kind of...hungry for something small." He winked at her.  
  
Willow shrank into her seat.  
  
Then the door opened once again.  
  
All eyes turned to see who this Survivor was going to be. They saw Xander Harris.  
  
This Xander stood there watching everyone. He stood tall and his eyes took in everything. Four people suddenly walked in from behind him, but they spread out as if they were on the prowl for the one who lead them. The four were Kyle, Tor, Rhonda, and Heidi, and with Xander...they were the Pack.  
  
"Xander," Probst said, "take a seat."  
  
Xander did. His lackey's remained standing. Xander sat across from Willow and looked at her as if she were dinner. Willow didn't like the way he was looking at her, but then again...he was looking at her, so that was something, wasn't it? She paused in thought. Yeah, she did like it. She frowned again.  
  
"Damn, Xander," Faith began as she looked him over, "where'd you get all the testerone?"  
  
Xander turned his head to regard her. "What do you mean?" he asked casually.  
  
"Well, you seem like Mr. Tough Guy. I mean, you've even got the look. Damn. What have you been doing?"  
  
"H-he's been possessed by a hyena," Willow told her.  
  
"Come again?"  
  
Willow turned to look at her. "Xander was possessed by a spirit of a hyena. So were his four new friends. I-it's a long story, but it ends happily. Sort of." She regarded Xander carefully. "I-it still would have been nicer for you to be possessed by puppies...or-or baby ducks."  
  
Xander shook his head. "Poor little Willow. You're just too sweet." He smiled. "It's a good thing we have a truce, otherwise, I'd jump over this table and--"  
  
Malcolm had enough. "All right! Just stop it with the threats and innuendos! What is wrong with you people?" He indicated Willow as he looked at Probst, Meb, and Hammond. "You people are throwing this poor defenseless girl to the wolves. And what's worst, you're dropping her off in the middle of a park that had no right to be created."  
  
"Wait a minute..." Angelus looked at Malcolm as if he hadn't heard correctly. "I thought the challenge was on an island. What's this crap about a park?"  
  
"Oh. I see. You weren't told." Malcolm looked accusingly at Probst. "Was that an oversight?"  
  
"The park?" Angelus pressed.  
  
Malcolm looked at Angelus. "The park is the next site for Survivor II. We know it as Isla Nublar, but it does have another name." He paused for affect. "Jurassic Park."  
  
Everyone stared at him.  
  
"Really?" Wilkins finally said. Then he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Now this could get very interesting."  
  
"That's one way of putting it." Malcolm indicated the survivors in the room. "In this very room, we have 10 people who are going on the island. 10 survivors, waiting for 8 more to show up for the smorgishborg fiesta on Isla Nublar this September."  
  
Probst shook his head. "Dr. Malcolm...we're waiting for 12 more to show. Not 8."  
  
Malcolm counted the Survivors in the room. "What the hell are you talking about? You have 10 people in this room as Survivors. You only need 8 to make 18. Do the math. The math doesn't lie."  
  
"Kyle, Tor, Rhonda, and Heidi do not count. They're with Xander and they're called the Pack. Xander leads them, and should he get voted off, then they all get voted off."  
  
"And if Xander gets eaten by a T-Rex, they all get eaten by said T-Rex." Malcolm shook his head. "Are you making these damned rules up as you go along?"  
  
"This is a different kind of Survivor."  
  
Malcolm pointed at him. "This is madness." He turned to the Survivors at the table. "I implore you, leave while you still can."  
  
"We're going to the island," Xander told him. "Why don't you come with us?"  
  
Malcolm hesitated. Finally, he looked at Willow. "All right." He straightened, and he turned to look at Probst. "If I remember how the game is, it starts with two groups, right? Two different tribes. So I will go with one of those tribes and I will get another specialist to go with the other tribe. We will act as guides and we will be permanently imbued with immunity. We aren't in this to play the game, but to guide them."  
  
"There are no guides in Survivor," Probst replied.  
  
Malcolm shook his head. "Now wait a minute, Mr. Prost. You yourself said that these were different circumstances for survival than your 'human' show of the Outback or Africa. This Isla Nublar is far more dangerous than any place on earth to do this kind of thing. They are going to need guides and I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that they do." He paused for effect. "I will not endorse this idea without that agreement."  
  
Probst thought about it. "Who is the other guide?"  
  
"Dr. Alan Grant."  
  
Hammond's face lit up. "Ian! That's a splendid idea."  
  
Malcolm looked at Probst. "Do we have a deal?"  
  
Probst nodded. "We do."  
  
"So...I can't wait to see who the other lunatics are that have signed up for this." Malcolm looked at Willow. "Don't you worry about a thing, sweetheart. I'm going to see you get through this."  
  
Probst turned to Meb. "Meb...did you send out an email for additional requests as to who our viewers would want to see on Survivor II?"  
  
Meb nodded. "Actually, they will see it in this. We have to point out that it can't be anyone from the first Survivor. Willow and Xander here are from Season 1, so that is exceptable because the first Survivor had a Willow and Xander from a later season. The same with Angelus. He's cleared because in the first Survivor, it's Angelus. The Pack actually throws a new twist on things. And we haven't seen Faith, Mayor Wilkins, or Lilah in the first Survivor."  
  
"Wasn't a request made for Sweet to be in Survivor?"  
  
"Well...he won't actually be a Survivor but he is in charge of the musical score on Survivor II." Meb paused for affect. "We only need 12 more Survivors. Let's hope we see a response after this is sent out."  
  
  
  
_____________________  
  
  
  
Survivor II  
  
Isla Nublar-otherwise known as "Jurassic Park" the first island.  
  
  
  
________  
  
  
  
The Guides:  
  
Ian Malcolm  
  
Alan Grant  
  
***  
  
Musical Score by Sweet  
  
  
  
__________  
  
  
  
The Survivors (6 so far):  
  
Angelus  
  
Faith  
  
Lilah Morgan  
  
Mayor Richard Wilkins  
  
The Pack-Xander Harris, Kyle, Tor, Rhonda, and Heidi (counted as 1)  
  
Willow Rosenberg (Buffy-Season One) 


	13. The Finale

SURVIVOR  
  
Eleven have been voted off...  
  
Dru  
  
Riley  
  
Tara  
  
Fred  
  
Jonathan  
  
Buffy  
  
Wesley  
  
Willow  
  
Anya  
  
Cordelia  
  
Xander  
  
***  
  
Four have been added to the Jury..  
  
Willow  
  
Anya  
  
Cordelia  
  
Xander  
  
***  
  
Who will be the Sole Survivor?  
  
  
  
___________________  
  
  
  
  
  
This is what remains of the new Gilsum-Roshar Tribe...  
  
Angel  
  
Spike  
  
Giles  
  
  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
  
  
"What seemed like a long time ago," Jeff Probst's voice began as the camera panned out over the island from where the Survivors had been brought to, "fourteen people were dropped off in one of the world's harshest environments. They braved the elements that challenged them, and they had to learn how to get along with each other. In the first challenge, it was Spike who dropped the ball for the Skrandurak Tribe when the raw squid refused to go down his throat. His tribe members paid for his failure when they ended up at Tribal Council. Even Spike was surprised when it wasn't himself that was voted off that night. The first member voted off the island was Dru."  
  
***Last vote, Druscilla. Druscilla, bring your torch and grab your bag."  
  
The vampiress smiled seductively at Xander. "See ya on the other side, kitten. prrrrrr"  
  
"I AM NOT YOUR KITTEN!"***  
  
"The second survivor to be voted off was from the Rikamura Tribe, and that was Riley. Tensions had risen between Riley and Angel and the tribe members decided that if one of them had to go, it would have to be Riley. The others were apparently far more loyal to Angel then they were of Riley." Probst continued. "In the third tribal immunity challenge, it was Tara in the Skrandurak Tribe who had made a terrible mistake and in doing so, she had destroyed the raft she and her team had constructed. It came apart in the sea and defeated, the tribe swam back and Rikamura became victorious. As a result, Tara was the third survivor voted from the island."  
  
***Tara glanced shyly at Probst and nodded. "I-it's my fault. I-I broke the raft and w-we had to swim back." She paused. "I-I won't be mad at anyone for voting me off."  
  
"I'd still vote for you even if you were mad," Cordelia told her bluntly.  
  
Tara gave her a look.***  
  
"As the game progressed, tensions in both camps rose," Probst replied. "From the Rikamura Tribe..."  
  
***"She doesn't like you because she has noticed that..." Angel said, "we've been having a lot of fun together on this island."  
  
"Well la-de-da for Fred!" Buffy exclaimed. "I am having fun on this island with you. Can't a girl slayer be entitled to a little fun?"***  
  
Probst continued, "As well as the Skrandurak Tribe..."  
  
***Spike turned on Jonathan. "And you're nothing but a free rider. You do the work, sure, but you're hanging on everybody's coattails to get there."  
  
"Leave Jimmy alone!" Cordelia said defensively.  
  
"Uh...That's Jonathan," Jonathan corrected.  
  
Spike looked at Cordelia and he pointed at her. "And you smell really bad."***  
  
"By a unanimous vote, Cordelia and Jonathan from the Skrandurak Tribe, and Buffy and Winifred from the Rikamura Tribe took to following maps that were given to them. The maps led them to the bluff where they discovered an element in the game they weren't expecting. I told them that they were heading back to their camps...but not the ones they had just left. Now Cordelia and Jonathan had become tribe members to the Rikamura Tribe, and Buffy and Fred were in the Skrandurak Tribe. The move to the Skrandurak Tribe for Fred did her far more damage than good. She became the fourth survivor voted from the island. However, in the very next Tribal Council, it was the Rikamura Tribe's turn and they voted off Jonathan. Jonathan was the fifth survivor voted from the island."  
  
Probst continued with, "The next tribal immunity challenge was the Little John Challenge."  
  
***Probst reached down into the stream and pulled out two wooden staffs. He handed one to Buffy. Then he handed one to Wesley. "Everyone will get a chance to knock off their opponent from the bridge. This challenge is the Little John Challenge and the tribe member who remains standing will win immunity for their tribe." He smiled. "Buffy, you and Wesley go up first. Whoever gets knocked into the water sits out. Then the one remaining will let one of their team members on for the next fight. Are you ready?"  
  
Buffy smiled. "Hell, yeah." She walked onto the bridge.***  
  
"Buffy and Willow faced one another during that challenge. Willow was taunted by Buffy, and the red-haired witch knocked the Slayer down."  
  
***Buffy was baiting her. "Sure you are. My friendly little sidekick. Always in the background. Research girl, slapstick comedian...You know. Sidekick Willow, like Robin."  
  
"W-well...so's your face!!" Willow suddenly swung and Buffy was totally unprepared for it. Willow connected her staff to Buffy's side, and then she swung the staff so that it connected next to Buffy's hands. Buffy let go of her staff and Willow flung it out into the stream. Then she hit Buffy in the other side and made her lose her balance. As Buffy began to wave her arms to try to regain her balance, Willow placed her foot on her butt and pushed.  
  
Buffy fell into the stream.  
  
Willow glared down at her. "How's that for a-a sidekick! You!!"***  
  
"Because of Buffy's loss, the Skrandurak Tribe went to the Tribal Council and they decided to make Buffy the sixth survivor kicked off the island. The seventh survivor who was voted off was Wesley from the Rikamura Tribe when he failed to answer important tribal questions due to his nodding off while receiving the tale. After Wesley left, the tribe became one and the remaining members tried to come up with a new name for their tribe. It was Spike who found the name."  
  
***Spike paused. Then he took a deep breath. "Gilsum-Roshar."  
  
Cordelia frowned. "Huh?"  
  
Anya shook her head. "How do you say that again? Jillsums-Rossaine?"  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. "Gilsum-Roshar! It's really not that hard, you know. You say their names every bloody day, you should be able to say them together."  
  
Angel looked at him. "We say their names every day?"  
  
"Yes. Well...not their last names...But if you ask me, it's because of them that we got to where we are today." He looked at Angel. "They made us what we are, Angel. They came into out lives and they changed us."  
  
Angel paused. "Gilsum-Roshar." His eyes widened in understanding. "Giles, Summers, Rosenberg, and Harris! Gilsum-Roshar!" He smiled. "I'm impressed!"***  
  
"So the Gilsum-Roshar Tribe was born. Angel won a reward challenge and he was able to dine with the one true love in his life on a romantic cruise. He dined with Buffy, and for that magic night, the curse was lifted."  
  
***Probst smiled because he seemed to know what they were thinking. "Did I ever mention that whenever participating as a Survivor, curses are null and void, and therefore, they simply have no affect on any of the contestants?"  
  
Angel raised his eyebrows. "Really?"  
  
Buffy smiled. "I love this Survivor thing!"  
  
"Would you like to order from our room?" he asked.  
  
She looked at him with a deep longing. "I really don't think we're going to have time for that once we're behind closed doors." She looked at Jeff. "Uhm...does this reward cover for room damage, 'cause, well...we do move around a lot." She grinned nervously. "You know, when we move around a lot, and do things...private things."  
  
Probst chuckled. "It's all covered."  
  
Angel and Buffy took each other by the hand and they headed back to Angel's room. They made passionate love all night long.***  
  
"Upon Angel's arrival back at the camp the following morning, it was soon discovered that he and Buffy were not the only ones who had a night to themselves."  
  
***Angel came back to the new camp and he was positively smiling. He smiled so much it hurt. But he couldn't help it. He just kept on smiling. He greeted everybody.  
  
"Hello, Giles...Anya...Spike...Cordy..." He stopped. "Where are Xander and-- "  
  
Crash. Thud.  
  
They all turned around, and Willow and Xander had stumbled out from the cover of the bushes they had been behind.  
  
"Ohmigod!" Cordelia shrieked. "Where are your clothes!!"***  
  
"The next challenge was for individual immunity, and Xander won it by keeping himself balanced longer than the others. Unfortunately, it was Willow who was the eigth survivor voted off the island. She also became the first jury member. In the next immunity challenge, the Gilsum-Roshar Tribe members had to bury their opponent's totem statues before theirs was buried. Spike won immunity, and Anya was the ninth survivor voted from the island. In the next challenge, Giles won immunity even though he boasted on that night he didn't need it. The others agreed because they had already decided on who they were going to vote on. The tenth survivor who was voted from the island was Cordelia. The true motive of the vote was revealed during the voting itself."  
  
***Angel-"Cordelia, when you sit up there for the next Tribal Council with Willow and Anya...could you please wear that dress you wore at the ball last month? The black dress with the bare back, the slit all the way up your thighs and the...well...you know. I know we'd all appreciate it. Thanks."***  
  
"Once again, Spike won the immunity necklace for the next challenge and Xander was voted off the island. Xander, however, is now a member of the jury along with Cordelia, Anya, and Willow. Fourteen survivors. Eleven have been voted off. Three remain. Spike. Angel. Giles. Which one of them will be...the Sole Survivor?"  
  
The demon called Sweet and his band of musicians took up the tempo and played the theme song to Survivor.  
  
  
  
  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
  
  
Interviews...  
  
Giles-"Oh, at this point, I-I do believe that winning immunity is the only way I can...s-survive. W-well, as it is, both, er, Angel and Spike s-seem to think I am prone to fits of laughter and giddiness because of my, er, exhaustion. Spike said it was because I am too old. But I-I assure you under no circumstances am I prone to fits of laughter, or, er giddiness."  
  
Angel-"I just wish to God he would stop laughing. It drives me nuts."  
  
Spike-"I need that bloody immunity necklace. If I don't get it, then I am gone." Pauses. "Unless...unless Angel votes for Giles because let's face it...if it's Angel and Giles up there, the jury will vote for Giles over Angel. Bloody right they will!" Frowns. "But...if I'm up there with Angel, they'll pick him...because he has a soul. Oh, bloody hell!"  
  
Giles-Bursts out laughing.  
  
  
  
___________________________  
  
  
  
Tribal Council  
  
The jury sat in their places. Xander, Cordelia, Anya, and Willow. Xander sat in the front row, and the girls sat around him as if he were the center. Spike-who had immunity-Angel, and Giles felt a momentary pang of jealousy of Xander. But they took thier places.  
  
Probst greeted them. "Okay. Let's get right to it. The last challenge was to see which one of you could last the longest by standing on one leg while balancing yourself on a pole with one hand. Spike, you won immunity. Do you feel that tonight, you need the immunity necklace?"  
  
Spike looked at him. "Do the words, 'Hell, yes!' mean anything to you, bloody sod?"  
  
"What about you, Giles? You didn't even last twenty minutes."  
  
Giles rubbed his face. "I-I lost my balance."  
  
Spike shook his head. "Nah. You're just too bloody old."  
  
"But you and Angel, Spike," Probst replied, "you were out there on the poles for fourteen hours."  
  
Spike shrugged.  
  
Angel sighed. "I slipped."  
  
Spike grunted. "That's what they all bleeding say. The Watcher lost his balance. The Sire slipped. Puhlease! You're too bloody old, too!"  
  
"I am not."  
  
Probst pointed at Spike. "You're up for the first vote."  
  
The three men voted. They came back and retook their seats. Probst took the votes and he pulled them out one-by-one. He looked at the three remaining tribe members of the Gilsum-Roshar Tribe, and he said, "Giles...you're the twelth survivor to be voted from the island. You must bring up your torch and leave the Tribal Council immediately."  
  
Giles got up and he watched his torch be extinguished. He nodded once to Probst and then he left the Tribal Council.  
  
Probst looked at Angel and Spike. "Well, the two of you have made it this far. Now, it's up to the Jury. Each one of them will get to ask you a question and you must answer it honestly. We'll convene here tomorrow night for the Jury to decide which one of you will be the sole survivor."  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
The Jury  
  
Willow  
  
Anya  
  
Cordelia  
  
Xander  
  
Giles  
  
***  
  
Gilsum-Roshar  
  
Angel  
  
Spike  
  
  
  
__________________  
  
  
  
The Jury...  
  
Angel and Xpike were seated at the front of the Jury. Probst had explained that all the Jury was to do was to ask Angel and Spike each one question. After the questions, the Jury would cast their votes on the Sole Survivor. The name each Jury member wrote down would be the vote cast for the Sole Survivor.  
  
Willow had been the first Jury member, so she was the first one up.  
  
She stood up before the two survivors and she had on a dark, blue gown. Spike and Angel couldn't help it. They both found themselves staring at her.  
  
She cleared her throat to get their attention.  
  
"Oh, God, don't do that," Angel said hoarsely.  
  
"Sorry." Willow took a deep breath. "Okay. Now I have to ask you my questions, so I'll try to make this simple. I've been thinking about it since I've been voted off a-and so here goes. Angel...w-when you picked me up by the throat, you know, when-when you were bad Angelus, and-and we were at Sunnydale High...were you really going to bite me?"  
  
Angel looked at her. He wasn't expecting any question like that. "Well, as Angelus, I was intending to bite you, yes, but--"  
  
"O-Okay." Willow turned to Spike. "And-and my question for you, Spike, is...when you came into my dorm and-and you tried to bite me, but you couldn't 'cause of that chip thingie in your head...b-but if you didn't have that chip thingie, w-would you have bitten me?"  
  
All eyes turned to Spike. Spike looked at Willow and he grinned. "Red, if it weren't for the bloody chip, I would have bitten you then, and I still dream about biting you. I'd bloody bite you right now if I could."  
  
Probst couldn't resist. "Since you've been on the island, Spike, you could have bitten anyone and the chip wouldn't have reacted. But then you would have been disqualified."  
  
Spike stared. "Bloody hell!"  
  
Willow smiled at Spike and Angel and took her seat.  
  
Anya came up. "Angel, when you first met Xander, did you mistreat him in anyway?"  
  
Angel stared at her in disbelief. "What?"  
  
"Answer the question."  
  
He sighed. "Mistreat him? No, I didn't mistreat him in anyway. Where is this coming from?"  
  
"He says that you like to stare at his neck."  
  
"What?" Angel opened his mouth to say something else, but Anya turned away from him.  
  
Anya said, "Spike, if you could have added my name in on the new tribes name--you know, with Gilsum-Roshar, and maybe it could have been like Anyagilsum-Rosharanka, or something like that--but, would you have if you could have?"  
  
Spike nodded his head. "Yes. I would have."  
  
Anya smiled. "Oh. Thank you."  
  
She took her seat.  
  
Cordelia got up. "Angel, were you following me when we first met in LA?"  
  
"No," Angel said.  
  
"Spike, did you turn Jonathan against me throughout the game?"  
  
"Yes." Spike paused. "You actually said his name."  
  
"Well, duh! That is his name, you know."  
  
Xander came up to ask his questions. "There is supposed to be absolute truth here, guys. So be honest. Angel, were you looking at my neck?"  
  
Angel let out a sigh of frustration. "No!"  
  
"Spike, why did you put my name at the end of Gilsum-Roshar?"  
  
Spike looked at him. "Well, I put you and Giles on each end with the girls in the middle. Kind of like the covers of a fine book." He grinned.  
  
Xander grinned, too. "Thank you." He took his seat.  
  
Giles came up.  
  
Angel sighed. "Please don't ask me whether I was looking at someone's neck or not."  
  
"What? Er, no. No, Angel, I have a rather, er, different question. On this island before I was voted off, did you, er, roll onto my glasses and...and bend them by any chance?" He showed Angel his glasses.  
  
Angel looked at them. "Giles, I don't know. Is that seriously your question to me?"  
  
"Actually, my-my question to you is, did you--?"  
  
Probst interrupted. "I'm sorry, Giles. But you already asked Angel your question."  
  
"I did? But-but that wasn't the question I wanted him to answer. I meant that--"  
  
"The question was asked. And it was answered. Ask Spike your question?"  
  
Giles looked at Angel, and shrugged. "Sorry." He cleared his throat. "Spike, my question is similar to Xander's. Er, why did you put my name first?"  
  
Spike grinned. "The Watcher is always first, Giles."  
  
Giles smiled. "You're right, of course. Thank you."  
  
He took his seat.  
  
Probst stood at his podium. "Jury, you will now cast your vote on the one whom you believe is the Sole Survivor." He smiled. "Willow, you're first."  
  
One by one, they cast their votes.  
  
Willow. Anya. Cordelia. Xander. And Giles.  
  
When they took their places again, Probst carried the canister that held the votes. He placed it on top of the podium and he looked out at the Jury, and he looked at Spike, and Angel.  
  
"The votes have been cast," he said. "This has been quite a challenge and I believe that every one of you has played it most admirably. Now, I will take the votes and I will meet you at Smackdown where the votes will be tallied and the Sole Survivor will be revealed."  
  
Sweet and his band began to play the theme song to Survivor.  
  
As the credits began to roll, a small window appeared on the corner and a muscular man with short dark hair and dark glasses appeared. "So you think you want to know who the Sole Survivor is? Do you? You think you want to know what the Rock is cooking? Then, hussle on down to Smackdown for the final vote. Will it be Spike, or will it be Angel? If you want to know then don't miss Smackdown!"  
  
**********************  
  
TO BE CONTINUED-- 


	14. Smackdown And Sole Survivor

SMACKDOWN  
  
Author: MeB (aka XanWill4Ever-Michael B)  
  
Email: lenoxfiles@hotmail.com  
  
Spoiler: None.  
  
Summary: The Sole Survivor is about to be revealed.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters of Buffy tVS are the property of Joss. Any characters from WWF or WWE are not mine. Any characters making appearances are not mine. They all got lost and wound up here. Lyrics of "Enter Sandman" belong to Metallica.  
  
Rating - PG-13  
  
xwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxw  
  
Voice over PA system: "Welcome to the biggest event of the year! SFA/Fanfiction presents Survivor 2002! In association with Smackdown! The place is packed with screaming fans! The viewers at home are at their computers! This is what everyone has been waiting for. The event is about to happen, ladies and gentlemen! The Sole Survivor is about to be REVEALED!!"  
  
Camera pans out over auditorium: View of screaming fans. View of the ring in the center of the stadium. View of two balcony's separated. One balcony is holding Survivors. Seated is...  
  
Buffy  
  
Giles  
  
Willow  
  
Xander  
  
Wesley  
  
Tara  
  
Anya  
  
Cordelia  
  
Riley  
  
Jonathan  
  
Fred  
  
Druscilla  
  
Camera pans out over the second balcony: Seated there are the new Survivors for Survivor II, chosen by members of the SFA!  
  
(The names of the two new Tribes are not yet named.)  
  
Seated on one side of the balcony are the Villains of one of the two tribes...  
  
The Master, Heinrich Joseph Nest  
  
Lilah Morgan  
  
Angelus (Season II-Buffy)  
  
Mayor Richard Wilkins III  
  
Zachary Kralik (Helpless)  
  
Principal Snyder  
  
Dr. Alan Grant sits with them.  
  
Three of the members of the Tribe are not seated as of yet.  
  
On the other side, the second tribe of Survivor II are seated, with two members missing.  
  
Oz (After Season 4-Buffy)  
  
Jenny Calendar (Resurrected for Survivor II)  
  
Kendra, the Vampire Slayer (Resurrected for Survivor II)  
  
"Nothin' is better than Wood!" Sid (Resurrected Puppet for Survivor II)  
  
Allen Francis Doyle  
  
Spike (WITH his Soul)  
  
Dawn  
  
Dr. Ian Malcolm sits with them. He shakes his head at the madness of it all.  
  
Camera pans over to two announcers, holding microphones. One is huge and muscular. He wears a sleeveless black shirt. On the front of this shirt, it says in bold white letters, "We'll Bring The Whuppin'!" On the back of his shirt, also in bold white print, "You Bring The Ass!" The other announcer has short black hair, he is wearing a blue coverall, with a drill on one hip and a cable at the other. He speaks with a lisp.  
  
First Announcer: The Rock welcomes all you brave souls out there who have dared to come to the biggest event in history. The Rock knows what he is talking about! You have NOT seen anything like what is happening here today! Isn't that so, CG?  
  
Second Announcer: I hear what you are sshaying, my huge friend. For I, Howard Cosshell, am right there besshide you, and I am here today to make damned shure that no shpoilerssh shlip by for Shurvivor II! That'sh right, my mosht adoring fansh! I have made myshelf available for thish wonderful event! And let me shay that we have quite a shhow for you!  
  
The Rock: The Rock hears you, Mr. Cosshell, I--  
  
CG: No, no, my feeble-minded mushcular tough guy. It,sh not 'Cosshell'. It'sh shimply...Cosshell.  
  
The Rock: That is exactly what The Rock has said. Mr. ...Cosshell.  
  
CG: Shee, now...I think you're making fun of my lishp, Mr. RockMan. The name is C-O-S-S-E-L-L. That clearly shpellsh Cosshell. There'sh no reashon for you to mock me, man. That jusht ain't right!  
  
The Rock: Mr, Cossell...Whatever your real name is, The Rock says that you are spelling Howard's name wrong. In any event, to avoid further complications in this event, The Rock will simply call you...(puts mike right up to mouth, exclaims) CABLE GUY!  
  
CG: Shee, now, now you're taking my name, and that jusht ishn't niche!  
  
The Rock: CG, The Rock reminds you that we have a show to put on today. Look what The Rock sees in the ring!  
  
Camera pans out to the ring: Xander and the Pack (of the Villain's tribe) are in the ring. A drum set is there and Heidi is beginning to beat out a drum tune as Tor, Kyle, and Rhonda take up other instruments. Xander is before them with a microphone. The Pack begin to play a heavy metal rock tune. On a big screen above the auditorium, scenes from Survivor play by, interjected with scenes from Jurassic Park and the Survivor II players. Suddenly, four large bird-like cages come down from the ceiling. In each one is a member of the new Survivors.  
  
Willow (Season One-the Hero's tribe)-looks about nervously.  
  
Buffy-Bot(the Hero's tribe) -not moving  
  
Faith (the Villain's tribe)-shaking her thing to the music (yells to Willow): Just shake it, girl! You're on live!  
  
Vamp Willow (the Villain's tribe) -also moving wildly to the beat.  
  
Xander sings:  
  
"Say your prayers little one  
  
don't forget, my son  
  
to include everyone!!  
  
tuck you in,  
  
warm within  
  
keep you free from sin  
  
till the sandman he comes"  
  
Camera pans to Willow in cage. She is swaying her hands back and forth, her head, and her hips. She is looking at Faith across from her and realizes that she is not moving like Faith is. Faith is dancing as wildly as Vamp Willow. Their hair is all over the place, moving with them. Buffy- Bot is not moving. She remains expressionless.  
  
Xander sings:  
  
"sleep with one eye open  
  
gripping your pillow tight  
  
exit light  
  
enter night  
  
take my hand  
  
off to never never land"  
  
The music heats up and Buffy-Bot begins to move now. She has taken in the moves of the others, processed it, and now she dances as wildly as Faith and Vamp Willow. Willow tries to dance like them. She stops swaying from side to side. She throws arms up and down and swings her head and hips. She smiles but she is also getting dizzy.  
  
Xander:  
  
"something's wrong, shut the light  
  
heavy thoughts tonight  
  
and they aren't of snow white  
  
dreams of war, dreams of liars  
  
dreams of dragon's fire  
  
and of things that will bite"  
  
On the big screen, image of Angel morphing into Vampire.  
  
Xander:  
  
"sleep with one eye open  
  
gripping your pillow tight  
  
exit light  
  
enter night  
  
take my hand  
  
off to never never land"  
  
Camera on big screen. Scene of T-Rex opening it's jaws to roar as it is face to face with a very pale Faith in a tree.  
  
Xander (with Willow softly repeating in the background through headpiece she is wearing):  
  
"now I lay me down to sleep  
  
pray the lord my soul to keep  
  
if I die before I wake  
  
pray the lord my soul to take"  
  
Just Xander:  
  
hush little baby, don't say a word  
  
and never mind that noise you heard  
  
it's just the beast under your bed,  
  
in your closet, in your head  
  
exit light  
  
enter night  
  
grain of sand  
  
exit light  
  
enter night  
  
take my hand  
  
we're off to never never land  
  
The song ends. The crowds cheer. The lights flash. The cages move up to the ceiling where the dancing girls are released from their cages and they move to their respective tribes. Xander and the Pack join their tribe. (Note of intererst. Almost seconds after I typed the last words of the lyrics to "Enter Sandman" it plays on the radio! Is that weird or what?!)  
  
The Rock: Outstanding performance!  
  
CG: Shure, outshtanding! But did they have Metallica'sh permisshion. Huh? What about that?  
  
The Rock: You squeal like a little girl, do you know that?  
  
CG: Are you challenging me?  
  
The Rock: The Rock doesn't see the Cable Guy as a challenge, but The Rock says if the Cable Guy wants to see what The Rock can do, then You (he points at CG's chest) bring the ass, and The Rock will bring the whuppin'!  
  
CG: Oh, man, you want a pieche of me? (Tosses down mike and jumps on the Rock.)  
  
Camera pans to the fight. The Rock is holding The Cable Guy over his head. Carry's him up to ring and tosses him into it. He climbs in just as CG goes into some kind of funky fighting stance. Crowd goes wild. The Rock moves toward CG but suddenly, something small grabs his ankle.  
  
The Crowd is estatic. It is MiniMe and the little bald guy is biting The Rocks ankle! "What the f--?!" the Rock is heard exclaiming as he reaches down and picks up MiniMe. He holds him at arms length and the little guy is running in place...'cause he can't really run anywhere held above the ring.  
  
Voice: Put MiniMe down, please.  
  
Camera pans to walkway inbetween sections of seats. A bald man in a grey suit walks toward the ring. Crowds again go wild. The man reaches the ring and he climbs in. He is holding mike and as he looks at The Rock, CG, and MiniMe, he waves for the crowds to hush.  
  
Silence.  
  
Baldman: Allow myself to introduce...myself. I...am Dr. Evil. (Puts his pinky to the corner of his mouth and smiles evilly.)  
  
The Rock: Who the hell is Dr. Evil? The Rock knows no Dr. Evil or...MiniMe. (Holds up Minime for close inspection. Minime tries to bite his nose.)  
  
CG: Oh, thish is too muchh! Now MeB is trying to bring in other clownsh! What is thish madnessh! It hash to end!  
  
Dr. Evil: Now don't get your panties in a bunch, Cable Guy. I speak from personal experience when I say to you that...I know how uncomfortable that can get. (Looks guilty as he realizes what he said. Clears throat. Stand tall) I make an appearance here today for only two reasons. I am here to promote my new movie...The Return of The Evil.  
  
The Rock: You mean, Austin Powers, Goldmember.  
  
Dr. Evil: Actually, that is a misprint. The first movie was not Austin Powers, International Man Of Mystery, but it was actually entitled....Evil Wars. Then there was the misprint with Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. That was supposed to be...The Evil Strikes Back. Which brings us to...The Return of The Evil. But...I am willing to overlook a few errors as long as they pay me...(puts pinky to mouth) One Million dollars!!  
  
The crowds laugh. CG and The Rock laugh. Even MiniMe laughs.  
  
Dr. Evil (correcting himself): One Hundred Billion Dollars!  
  
Gasps throughout the auditorium.  
  
The Rock: What is your second reason for interrupting. The Rock wants to know!  
  
Dr. Evil (looks up toward balcony where Survivor II sits): I want to say hello to my son. (Waves at Oz.) Hello. Scott. Scott! Will you look at me please. It's your father. Scott, why are you ignoring me? Can't we make this right? Somehow?  
  
Oz (looking at his friends in confusion. Looks down from balcany as he is given a mike): Are you talking to me?  
  
Dr. Evil: Well, of course, I am. You are my son, Scott. Come down here and give your old man a hug. (holds arms open and looks affectionately up at Oz.)  
  
Oz: You're one crazy bastard. My name is Daniel Osbourne. I'm not Scott.  
  
Dr. Evil: Changing your name doesn't change who you are. Now get down here! Don't make me frickin' come after you. I'll climb up there.  
  
The Rock is still holding MiniMe. MiniMe is looking up toward Oz and he makes his hands claw at the air toward him.  
  
Oz: You're crazy.  
  
The Rock: We need security!  
  
Security men rush to the stage and they drag off Dr. Evil and MiniMe.  
  
Dr. Evil: I'll be back! (puts pinky to mouth and laughs. MiniMe mimicks and they are taken away.)  
  
Suddenly the crowd cheers as the camera pans to another aisle. Coming down the aisle is Jeff Probst. Behind him is Angel and Spike.  
  
The Rock: (holding mike up to mouth in the ring with his arm around CG): Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?!  
  
CG: Damn, I can shmell shomething! Did you shhower today?  
  
Probst, Angel, and Spike enter the ring.  
  
The Rock hands the mike to Probst.  
  
Probst waits for the crowds to silence.  
  
Probst: I'm just going to get right to the point. You've all been patient with me. And I know you want to know who the Sole Survivor is.  
  
Cheers.  
  
Probst: The vote is from you, the fans. You have chosen the Sole Survivor. I remind you that it's because of you we have the winner. I also make one request. If you can come up with a name for the new tribes, the Hero's - led by Dr. Ian Malcolm...Willow, Kendra, Buffy-Bot, Oz, Jenny Calendar, Allen Frances Doyle, Spike-with his Soul, Dawn, and Sid. And a name for our Villains - led by Dr. Alan Grant...The Master, Heinrich Joseph Nest, Vamp Willow, Lilah Morgan, Angelus, Faith, Mayor Richard Wilkins III, Zachary Kralik, Xander and the Pack, and Principal Snyder - it would be greatly appreciated. As you know, the Survivors of Survivor II will be dropped off at Isla Nublar, the first site of Jurassic Park. This will be the most challenging environment known to any survival show ever put together. I hope before the first week of September, you will email me your names for the Hero and Villain tribes. Now...on to the Sole Survivor.  
  
Camera pans on the faces of Spike and Angel.  
  
Probst (opens the final vote): The Sole Survivor is....Spike!  
  
The crowds go wild.  
  
Sweet and his band of demons play the theme song of Survivor.  
  
****  
  
In the background, a T-Rex roars. Raptors run through the parking lot of the auditorium. The auditorium's wall caves in as a T-Rex enters.  
  
Dr. Ian Malcolm (glancing at the Hero tribe he is to guide on the island): I want you to remember that the word you are about to hear me say is the word I will say to you a lot on the island. I want you to get used to this word.  
  
T-Rex roars as his head is level with the balcony.  
  
Malcolm: Run!!  
  
They ran.  
  
T-Rex jaws clamp onto balcony and rips it from wall. It crashes down. The auditorium is now empty except for T-Res who looks about, opens mouth and roars in fury.  
  
FINISH.Until Survivor II-Isla Nublar! 


End file.
